Montana
Losing to Montana: A Soul's Tug of War
Lyrics
I've been thinkin', thinkin' 'bout the river
I've been thinking about the river
My spirit's gone away
My spirit has left or disconnected
It ran to find you, got swept up in the river
It tried to find someone, got lost in the river
My spirit's gone away
My spirit remains disconnected
I learned to love deep water after you first pushed me in
Learned to embrace challenges (deep water) after an initial push
You opened my eyes and made me more human than I've ever been
Someone helped see the world differently, becoming more human
But I have trouble letting go sometimes
Struggles with releasing control
I hold on too tight to what I wish was mine and
Holds onto desires intensely
I lose to Montana every time
Consistently loses to Montana, possibly a metaphor for challenges
I don't have a voice anymore, but some things are better left unsaid
Lacks a voice, some things are better left unspoken
Like the way I just wish you'd forget about the real world and finally choose me instead
Desires the other person to escape reality and choose the speaker
'Cause I have trouble letting go sometimes
Continues to struggle with letting go
I hold on too tight to what I wish was mine and
Clings tightly to what is desired
I lose to Montana every time
Consistently defeated by challenges symbolized by Montana
How am I supposed to stay in love
Questions how to stay in love when the other person chooses a different path
If you decide the big sky's your home?
If the other person considers a vast open space (big sky) their home
Let me be free, let me let go
Desires freedom and the ability to let go
Let me be loved on my own
Wants to be loved independently
You choose your words so carefully; what are you trying not to say
Questions the carefully chosen words and urges the other person to be vulnerable
Why can't you just break down your walls and be messy with me
Desires the other person to be messy and open up emotionally
'Cause I have trouble letting go sometimes
Continues to struggle with releasing control
I hold on too tight to what I wish was mine and
Clings tightly to desires
I lose to Montana every time
Consistently defeated by challenges represented by Montana
It's been too long dear, too long since I last saw you
Expresses the absence of the other person for a prolonged period
My spirit's gone away
Reiterates the disconnection of the spirit
I tried to find it, went back to the river
Attempts to find the disconnected spirit, returns to the river
My spirit's gone away
The spirit remains disconnected
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