Lyrics
Sometimes I look at myself
Sometimes I reflect on my own identity
It's a little bit selfish
Admitting to a certain level of self-centeredness
I tried but I can't win
I've made efforts, but it feels like a losing battle
You don't even know
Others are unaware of my struggles
How could somebody look at me
Expressing disbelief that someone could perceive happiness in me
And think that I'm happy
Suggesting a misconception about personal well-being
I haven't been laughing
Not experiencing much laughter recently
Too much anymore
A decline in happiness or joy
You say I seem okay when I'm sitting here with all my friends
Observation that I appear fine in the company of friends
Easy to say when you're looking from the outside in
It's easy for others to judge when viewing from the outside
I'll never change, loving myself is all pretend
Commitment to staying true to oneself, though self-love may be feigned
And I might never again
Uncertainty about maintaining this attitude
I tried everything to please you
Attempts to please others at the expense of personal well-being
I forgot to think of me too
Neglecting one's own needs while trying to satisfy others
I woke up and realized
Realization that life is one's own responsibility
That this is my life
Acknowledgment that this is the reality of one's life
And every time that I felt hopeless
Instances where desperation led to self-destructive behavior
I fucked myself up to keep on going
Harming oneself to endure challenges
And I never realized
Failure to recognize the impact of these actions on one's life
That this is my life
Reiteration that this is the reality of one's life
Sometimes I wish I was different
Desire for a different identity at times
And someone would listen
Yearning for someone to understand
It's hard it explain it
Difficulty articulating emotions
You don't even know
Others remain unaware of my inner struggles
Last time I told you I missed you
Past confessions of missing someone led to complications
It turned to an issue
Recognition of a misunderstanding, opting to withdraw
Guess I was mistaken
Admitting to an error in judgment
I'll leave you alone
Choosing to give space and be alone
You say I seem okay when I'm sitting here with all my friends
Observation that I appear fine in the company of friends (repeated)
Easy to say when you're looking from the outside in
Reiteration of the ease of judgment from an external perspective
I'll never change, loving myself is all pretend
Reaffirmation of resistance to change, acknowledging artificial self-love
And I might never again
Expressing doubt about maintaining this mindset
I tried everything to please you
Efforts to please others at the expense of self-neglect (repeated)
I forgot to think of me too
Neglecting personal well-being in the pursuit of external validation
I woke up and realized
Realization that life is one's own responsibility (repeated)
That this is my life
Confirmation that this is the reality of one's life (repeated)
And every time that I felt hopeless
Instances of feeling hopeless and resorting to self-harm (repeated)
I fucked myself up to keep on going
Self-destructive behavior as a coping mechanism
And I never realized
Failure to realize the detrimental impact on one's life (repeated)
That this is my life
Reiteration that this is the reality of one's life (repeated)
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