I'd Go
Broken Bonds: Love's Struggle in 'I'd Go' by Marvin Elliott
Lyrics
I smile less bright with my lips so cold
I experience diminished joy with a cold expression on my lips.
At someone who I don't even know
I find it challenging to smile at someone I don't even know.
I lost my mind
I've lost my sanity.
I lost my hope
I've lost my hope.
I'm spiralling so out of control
I feel like I'm spiraling out of control.
Now every time that I tell you that I love you
When I express love for you, I am honest but deceive myself.
I say the truth while lying to my stupid self
You have a significant influence on my life.
You own my life
I no longer feel connected to my own life.
I don't really feel a part of it anymore
Questioning the closeness in our relationship.
Oh why oh why are we so close
Wondering why we are so close when, in an ideal world, we wouldn't meet.
When in a perfect world we'd never meet
Expressing the difficulty of letting go.
And why oh why can't I let go
Despite the pain, I hold on, deceived by your actions.
Although the bruises is all I see
Reflecting on falling for someone who makes me feel insignificant.
And why oh why did I even fall
Trapped in silence, afraid to communicate.
For someone making me feel so small
Despite the pain, there's a desire to hold on, deceived by false hope.
Caught in silence
Your lies, though sweet, numb my emotions.
Afraid to talk
I end up giving you whatever you want.
Despite all the pain you wanna keep holding on
People around me think I've changed, overestimating my control in this tumultuous love.
And trick me into thinking you are the one
From feeling ecstatic to an uncontrollable descent.
Your sweet little lies are making me numb
Questioning why we continue in a cursed relationship that won't heal.
And end up giving you whatever you want
Forgiving twisted apologies, questioning my own actions.
Now everyone around here telling me that I have changed
Regretting not seeing the truth before it became a harsh reality.
Overestimates my say in this raging love
Expressing heartbreak and a weakened resolve.
From feeling so high
Describing the pain and sleepless nights by your side.
To where I can't stop falling
Expressing a desire to pause, clear the mind, and escape.
So why oh why do we still submit
You've taken everything from me.
To something cursed that will never heal
You're destroying what I have right in front of me.
And why oh why do I still forgive
Feeling trapped, unsure of going on alone.
Another twisted apology
Fearing that no one else will love me.
Why oh why couldn't I just see
Considering staying because of the fear of being unloved.
The truth before it all became real
Expressing emotional pain and difficulty in leaving.
You broke my heart
Yearning for freedom, wanting to go away.
You broke my will
Expressing a strong desire to leave, despite challenges.
By your side, grey ceiling, every restless night oh I know
Feeling stuck and unable to break free.
Could I press pause for a minute, get a clear mind, believe me I'd go
If I could, I would pause and gain clarity, choosing to leave.
Cause you've taken my all, everything that I own
You've taken everything I possess.
And you're tearing it up right in front of me
You're destroying it right in front of me.
But where would I go, being all on my own
Contemplating the fear of being alone.
What if no-one else loves me, loves me
Fearing no one else will love me as you do.
What if no-one else loves me like you'd love for me to stay
Questioning the possibility of finding love elsewhere.
Shedding tears in my car seat every time I try to go away
Expressing emotional pain and reluctance to leave.
Let me go
An urgent plea to be let go.
I wanna go
A strong desire to leave.
But I can't
Expressing the internal struggle of wanting to go but feeling unable to.
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