Christmas Farts

Referencing the occurrence of flatulence during Christmas meals, possibly due to the consumption of parsnips and cabbage.

Describing the potent and intense nature of these flatulence instances, often including remnants of stuffing.

Portrays the sensation of hot air being expelled from the body during flatulence.

Highlighting the ability of Christmas-related flatulence to create an uncomfortable or unpleasant atmosphere in a room.

Comparing the scent of these farts to the aroma of freshly cooked food, indicating their pervasive nature.

Emphasizing how these particular farts spread widely and are not confined to a specific area.

Reiterating the unpleasantness and sadness caused by these specific flatulence occurrences during Christmas.

They really are disgusting

Christmas farts

They're really, really bad

Christmas farts

I'll tell you bloody something

Christmas farts

They'll make your family sad

Describing the variety of foods consumed during Christmas and how overeating can lead to digestive discomfort.

We should know by now it can lead to no good

Turkey, sandwiches, Pringles and pop

Cheese and crackers, all the chutneys on top

Eating loads of cookies like they're going out of fashion

Eating After Eights, yes please I'll have the last one

Chocolate, sprouts and alcohol too

Ending in disaster when you're coming through the living room

Presenting Christmas flatulence as a mix of positive and negative attributes, noting their constant smell and a reference to the song "Black Magic."

They really are divine

Christmas farts

Though some would say tragic

Christmas farts

They're smelly all the time

Christmas farts

It's a kind of Black Magic

Comparing Christmas farts to other types of flatulence, suggesting that the ones experienced during this holiday are particularly potent and impactful on family gatherings.

Curry farts can be bad when they're creeping up your nose

Baked beans ones too but they're good for your heart

But when you've eaten all the veg it's a different kind of fart

Perhaps you've had a chilli? Mmm they're bad

But there's only one fart that can make your family sad

Reiterating the repulsiveness and unique smell associated with Christmas flatulence, likening it to the aroma of a Cornish Pasty.

Christmas fart

They're really damn nasty

Christmas farts

They really, really wrong

Christmas farts

They smell like Cornish Pasty

Christmas farts

Conversations reacting to someone's evident flatulence, seeking to alleviate the discomfort by requesting to open a window.

Urrrrrrrgggghhh, God no! Someone crack a window pl-ease

Highlighting the disruptive and potentially hazardous nature of these farts within a family setting, warning against igniting scented candles due to their potency.

They leave a green fog

Christmas farts

All the family in one room

Christmas farts

Don't light that scented candle

Christmas farts

You'll make us all go... boom

Reflecting on the repetition and predictability of Christmas gifts, humorously suggesting the recurring nature of receiving socks as a present.

Christmas farts

When it's time to give the gifts out

Christmas farts

I'm passed a tiny box

Christmas farts

Must be the same as last year

Christmas farts

Ah, I know, I know, it's the gift of socks

Concluding with a humorous acknowledgment of a familiar scent associated with a Christmas fart, humorously attributing it to a 'fart in a box' received as a gift.

Ah, wait, I know that smell

It's a Christmas fart in a box

Ah for... who done tha'?

Seriously though

Doesn't even say who it's from