Lyrics
In this life I'm pouring up, I gotta think about it
In this life, I'm contemplating my actions and decisions
Think about it
Reiterating the need for reflection
Nothing felt so like this, I can't get sick of it
Nothing compares to this feeling, I don't tire of it
I love the way that you talk to me, I'm indifferent
I appreciate your communication, but I'm emotionally detached
I hope you stay and I don't weird you out 'cause I'm different
Hope you're comfortable with my uniqueness, I fear being off-putting
Popping 20 Benneys, get this high, I'm having fun
Taking drugs to elevate mood, enjoying the experience
This because my ex just messed me up, but now I'm done
Previously hurt by an ex-partner but now moving on
I don't wanna fight you, but I'll fight you when I'm done
Not seeking conflict, but prepared to defend myself
So I don't think about it
Avoiding dwelling on certain thoughts
This DPH has got me flying to the sun
The drug DPH is causing an intense high
I got my friends so worried
Concern from friends about my well-being
They're coming back, coming 'round town
Friends returning to check up on me
I'll see you out at night, looking back as I frown
Reflecting on past events with regret
Don't you worry, baby
Reassuring someone not to worry
If I can call you baby
Expressing affection or endearment
I'll be okay once I acquire fix, it's definite, a sanctuary
Feeling that obtaining a fix of something will provide solace
Clouds in the sky and my heart, it aches when I sigh
Feeling emotional pain
And I think back, why did you lie?
Questioning why lies were told
I keep going back and forth, why do I cry?
Confusion about emotional reactions
I want you to be mine
Desire for a relationship
In this life I'm pouring up, I gotta think about it
Reflecting again on decisions and actions
Think about it
Reiteration of the need for contemplation
Nothing felt so like this, I can't get sick of it
Continued enjoyment of an intense feeling
I love the way that you talk to me, I'm indifferent
Indifferent to the emotional connection
I hope you stay and I don't weird you out 'cause I'm different
Hoping for acceptance despite differences
Popping 20 Benneys, get this high, I'm having fun
Continued drug use for pleasure
This because my ex just messed me up, but now I'm done
Resolving past relationship issues
I don't wanna fight you, but I'll fight you when I'm done
Averse to conflict but prepared for it if necessary
So I don't think about it
Avoiding dwelling on certain thoughts
This DPH has got me flying to the sun
Attributing heightened feelings to the drug DPH
I could never sleep
Difficulty sleeping due to emotional distress
Doing all these drugs while I weep
Using drugs while feeling emotional pain
It's not fun
Expressing dissatisfaction with the situation
Pour another bottle till the sun is coming up
Continuing drug use until morning
Wait a couple hours, couple days for you to come
Waiting for someone to return
I don't know if you got attitude or love for me at all
Uncertain about someone's feelings towards them
I guess it's how it be
Accepting the reality of a situation
Guys are all the same, we only want a damn thing
Expressing cynicism about male behavior
When we're alone and we find someone who appears to be
Desiring a genuine connection
A loving soul without a lover on my phone screen
Yearning for a loving relationship
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