Dead Awake
Eternal Yearning: A Heartfelt Journey Through Loss and Longing
Lyrics
Today things change I've been so fuckin' scared Since I picked up the phone
Expressing fear or anxiety about a significant change after answering the phone.
Trying to escape from me
Desire to avoid confrontation or emotional entanglement.
My heart I can't think straight
Feeling emotionally overwhelmed, making it difficult to think clearly.
On the beach waves so free
Imagery of a beach with free and calm waves, possibly contrasting the speaker's emotional turbulence.
And so calm as a lake
Comparing the calmness of the lake to the speaker's own emotional state.
And like me I'm so dead awake
Feeling emotionally numb or detached, described as being "dead awake."
So I hold on to what I got
Expressing a determination to hold on to something valuable in the face of challenges.
For as long as I can
Commitment to preserving what the speaker has for as long as possible.
But now it's fallen
Indication that what the speaker held onto has now fallen apart.
Apart in my hand
Describing the tangible loss of something important, possibly a relationship.
And it's so hard to understand
Expressing difficulty in comprehending the loss or change.
That I can't see you again
Yearning to see someone again but acknowledging the impossibility of doing so.
And I hold on to what got
Reiteration of the commitment to holding on to something valuable.
For as long as I can
Continued effort to preserve what remains despite challenges.
And now it's fallen apart in my hand
Revelation that the preserved thing has also fallen apart, intensifying the emotional struggle.
And it's so hard to understand
Expressing continued difficulty in understanding or accepting the situation.
It seems like you're here with me
Sensation of the presence of someone missed, possibly in memories or thoughts.
I just wanna see you again
Expressing a strong desire to see the person again.
Today things change
Reiteration of the significant change happening today.
Why couldn't it be you
Expressing a wish for a different outcome, possibly involving the person mentioned.
When I picked up the phone
Recalling the moment of answering the phone and the emotional impact of the conversation.
The things I'd say
Reflecting on the things the speaker would have said if aware of the consequences.
If I could have known
Expressing regret or longing for the opportunity to express certain feelings.
You won't be there
Acknowledging the absence of the person when the speaker returns home.
When I got home
Highlighting the emotional impact of the person's absence.
Looking for answers why
Pondering the reasons behind a challenging situation, seeking understanding.
It's so real it's not fake
Affirming the reality of the situation, contrasting it with something genuine and not fake.
And why am I so dead awake
Expressing a heightened state of emotional awareness and possibly insomnia ("dead awake").
Please just one more time
Pleading for one last chance to say goodbye to the person.
I wanna say good-bye
Expressing a strong desire to bid farewell, possibly indicating a lack of closure.
Ill wait for you
Commitment to wait for the person, showing resilience and hope.
I'm not scared
Asserting courage and a promise not to succumb to fear.
I promise not to cry
Commitment not to show vulnerability through tears.
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