Lyrics
50 when I needed 100
Expressing a desire for more support or effort when only half was given during a time of need.
One foot in, the other out the door,
Describing a state of indecision or hesitation, being partly committed and partly detached from a situation.
Of my new apartment
Referencing a new living space, possibly symbolizing a fresh start or change in the speaker's life.
Im so glad, that I never went to yours
Expressing relief for not visiting someone else's place, suggesting satisfaction with the speaker's own decisions.
I was kinda half in also,
Acknowledging a partial emotional involvement in a situation.
Still got kinda sad from the false hopes, no shows
Feeling sadness due to unfulfilled expectations and disappointments, possibly related to unmet promises.
Maybe I was way more sad than it seemed
Reflecting on the possibility that the speaker's sadness was more profound than it appeared to others.
But I didn't want you to know that I'd been
Choosing not to reveal the extent of emotional struggle to someone else.
Staying up til 3 in the morning
Describing late-night periods of waiting and anticipation, possibly for communication from a specific person.
Hoping it'd be you if the phone rang
Expressing a desire for a specific person to be the one calling on the phone.
Took some time but I can't believe I,
Realizing the speaker's change in perspective over time.
Used to wish that you were
Recalling a past desire for someone's presence.
Laying in my bed right beside me
Expressing a longing for physical closeness with someone who is absent.
I can't sleep without you, its funny
Noting the humorous realization that the speaker used to struggle to sleep without the mentioned person.
I laugh about it now with my friends, how I
Sharing past struggles with friends, emphasizing personal growth and change.
Used to wish that you were, here
Reiterating the past desire for someone's presence.
Pretty boy you got away with
Complimenting someone's ability to avoid consequences or responsibility.
More than what it'd usually take
Acknowledging the ability of the person to escape the consequences of their actions.
You went ghost and I went crazy
Describing a period of emotional distress when the person disappeared from the speaker's life.
But under wraps just incase,
Maintaining a composed exterior while concealing emotional turmoil.
Cause I didn't want you to know
Expressing a desire to keep emotional struggles private.
That every time you didn't show I'd get emotional
Highlighting the emotional impact of someone's absence and the effort to hide it.
I would just try to play it cool so that you didn't see
Adopting a calm demeanor to conceal vulnerability from the person causing emotional turmoil.
The control you had over me
Acknowledging the influence and control the person had over the speaker.
But I'm happier now
Expressing contentment and happiness in the present, indicating personal growth and recovery.
I can't believe,
Expressing disbelief at the positive change in emotions.
That I'll never be
Reflecting on the speaker's permanent state of not staying up late in sadness.
Staying up til 3 in the morning
Recalling late-night periods of waiting and anticipation, possibly for communication from a specific person.
Hoping it'd be you if the phone rang
Expressing a desire for a specific person to be the one calling on the phone.
Took some time but I can't believe I,
Realizing the speaker's change in perspective over time.
Used to wish that you were
Recalling a past desire for someone's presence.
Laying in my bed right beside me
Expressing a longing for physical closeness with someone who is absent.
I can't sleep without you, its funny
Noting the humorous realization that the speaker used to struggle to sleep without the mentioned person.
I laugh about it now with my friends, how I
Sharing past struggles with friends, emphasizing personal growth and change.
Used to wish that you were, here
Reiterating the past desire for someone's presence.
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