Spa
Lost Dreams and Love's Departure at the Korean Spa
Lyrics
The last day that we spent together,
The final day we spent together.
We were naked at that weird Korean spa,
We were nude at a peculiar Korean spa.
I took you to, I thought it was a good idea,
I took you there, thinking it was a good idea.
Cause I thought there'd be ""Things to Come"",
Expecting positive future experiences ("Things to Come").
I thought there'd be Days of Heaven on my couch,
Anticipating blissful moments ("Days of Heaven") on my couch with you.
With your feet on my lap, but I was in a dream.
Realizing it was a dream, as you were distant.
I guess I couldn't see that sheepishly,
Unaware of your gradual distancing.
You'd been slowly backing away from me,
Feeling like a fool now that the truth is evident.
Now I feel like a clown,
Perceiving the situation as nonsensical.
It makes no sense but now I see,
Understanding, though it's illogical.
The more real I became to you,
As I became more authentic, you withdrew.
The more you shied away from me,
Your avoidance increased with my authenticity.
And had to kill this thing dead.
Resulting in the demise of our relationship.
You were leaning against the tile,
You observed me in the spa, pondering my actions.
Watching me dump cold buckets of water on my head, Were you sizing me up?
Questioning if you were assessing me.
Thought I was safe then, but I was not,
I felt secure, but you were engrossed in a future scenario.
For you were getting lost in some unknown projection of the future,
You took it literally, causing distress and departure.
And taking it literally,
And freaking out and leaving me.
You left, overwhelmed by imagined future fears.
I never got to be the young, well-adjusted gay dude,
I never got to experience a carefree life as a content gay man.
With the whole world at his feet,
You appeared as someone with boundless possibilities.
That's how you seemed to me,
My perception of you was admiration, not jealousy.
Instead of jealousy it was an admiration,
Seeing you as a reflection that enriched my perspective.
A reflection that just gave me more to see, In almost everything.
In almost everything.
No amount of Jonathan Richman, Hafiz and Alain de Botton,
Coping mechanisms like music and literature don't ease the pain.
Is stopping me from screaming fuck you into the air,
Expressing frustration by shouting "fuck you" into the air.
No amount of going out and spending time with friends,
Socializing and ignoring you doesn't help.
Pretending that you don't exist,
Is doing anything.
No distraction erases the impact of your absence.
So handsome and affable with a Charlie Brown-like sweetness,
Reflecting on your appealing qualities.
And this breezy charm, oh, where did you go?
Expressing confusion about your disappearance.
And on the car ride home you fell asleep, And missed all of the scenery that you wanted to see,
You missed the scenery, symbolizing missed opportunities.
And that was that for you and me,
Our relationship ended on that car ride.
And it still is,
It remains the same.
It still is.
Our situation persists.
Comment