Chemotherapy
A Desperate Yearning: Love as a Remedy
Lyrics
I hoped you'd be the chemo to my cancer
I expected you to be the healing force (chemotherapy) for the problems in my life (cancer).
I hoped you'd radiate in me, a remedy to my disease
I anticipated you bringing a positive influence (radiate) and being a solution (remedy) to my troubles (disease).
Resurrect me from my grave, sweet necromancer
Expressing a desire for the person to revive them metaphorically, using the term "sweet necromancer" to suggest a reviving, magical force.
And if you can't raise the dead, entomb me deeper now instead
If revival is not possible, the speaker prefers a deeper emotional withdrawal or detachment instead.
My hands are too cold to hold this time
The speaker feels emotionally distant and incapable of providing warmth or comfort in the current situation.
Have I decomposed too much this time
Questioning if the speaker has deteriorated emotionally to an irreversible extent.
Did I show you too much
Reflecting on whether the speaker has revealed too much emotionally.
Did I show you enough
Reflecting on whether the speaker has revealed enough emotionally.
Can you heal, if my infusions make you sicker
Questioning if the speaker's efforts to help or support have inadvertently caused harm or made the situation worse.
Or am I malignancy causing your excrescences
Contemplating if the speaker is a source of negativity, causing the other person's problems or difficulties.
A funeral with absence from the vicar
Comparing the relationship to a funeral, with the absence of support or guidance.
Like wedding vows it seems, we both read our eulogies
Drawing parallels between the relationship and wedding vows, suggesting a shared acceptance of an inevitable end.
Our hearts are just stones to throw this time
Describing emotional numbness, with hearts portrayed as unfeeling stones.
We've weaponized love and fear this time
Highlighting the destructive power of love and fear in the relationship.
Are you all that I thought
Pondering if the person matches the speaker's expectations or if there is a mismatch.
Or are you all that I've got
Questioning the significance and value of the person in the speaker's life.
We were filling the void this time
Expressing a realization that the relationship was an attempt to fill a void but ultimately failed.
And we fucked it all up this time
Acknowledging a collective failure or mistake in the relationship.
You're not mine to want
Realizing that the person is not someone the speaker should desire or possess.
And I'm not yours to haunt
Accepting that the speaker should not be a haunting presence in the other person's life.
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