Lyrics
This is my happy ever suicide
This expresses a paradoxical concept of finding happiness in a metaphorical suicide, suggesting a profound inner struggle.
My hands tied behind my breast
The speaker feels constrained or restricted, possibly by societal expectations or personal circumstances, symbolized by hands tied behind the breast.
My silhouette did pirouettes
A vivid image of the speaker dancing gracefully (pirouettes) in their silhouette, possibly representing a performance or facade they put on for others.
The curtains are closing
The closure of a metaphorical curtain, signaling an end or change in the speaker's life or relationships.
My baby was my ooh-lah lah, neverlasting
The speaker's past lover is described as "neverlasting," indicating a relationship that didn't endure or fulfill long-term expectations.
My baby was my cry me rivers and shadow casket
Describes the emotional impact of the past relationship, using metaphors like "cry me rivers" and "shadow casket" to convey pain and mourning.
Who could be my lovely, my lovely?
The speaker is seeking someone to replace the past lover, asking who could be their new love.
Who could be my only one, my only?
Continues the theme of searching for a new love, emphasizing the desire for exclusivity with the phrase "my only one."
I'm almost just as empty as you think I am
The speaker acknowledges a sense of emptiness, challenging the perception of others who may underestimate their emotional depth.
A penny for your thoughts
Suggests a willingness to pay for insights or thoughts, using a penny as a metaphorical currency.
A wooden hair of happiness, a pretty Ricky Ross
References a popular figure, Ricky Ross, and juxtaposes it with the concept of a wooden hair of happiness, possibly symbolizing a superficial or fake sense of joy.
A may-black music
Mentions "may-black music," possibly reflecting on the significance of music in the speaker's life, especially during difficult times.
I woke up in my sympathy, became black Judas
The speaker wakes up in sympathy, drawing parallels with the betrayal of black Judas, indicating a sense of betrayal or disillusionment.
All my everythings for sale
Expresses a willingness to sell everything, suggesting a state of desperation or a desire for a fresh start.
All my second hand discoveries, dungarees faded pale
Refers to the speaker's past experiences and belongings, emphasizing their worn-out or faded nature.
All my halfway hallelujahs are tippy-toed in the mail
Describes the speaker's hesitant or incomplete expressions of praise or gratitude, possibly due to past disappointments.
All the fluctuations on scales
References the ups and downs in life, symbolized by fluctuations on scales.
And the missing therapy sessions of bullies treating me well-well
Mentions missing therapy sessions and the paradoxical idea of bullies treating the speaker well, indicating a complex relationship with mental health and past experiences.
We don't drink that
A rejection of subpar quality or experiences, represented by not drinking anything below the top shelf.
If it ain't the top shelf, nigga you can keep that
Expresses a high standard for life experiences, indicating a refusal to settle for anything less than the best.
Share my life on Telefone
Shares life experiences through "Telefone," possibly a metaphor for communication or storytelling.
I'm 25 at 306, and 809 became my home
References a specific time and place, suggesting the importance of these details in the speaker's life.
Gave you a taste of my redemption and now I want my drink back
The speaker gave a taste of their redemption, symbolizing personal growth, and now wants something in return.
Somebody hold me like I'm almost enough
Expresses a longing for emotional support, a desire to be held and accepted despite feeling incomplete.
Somebody told me pray for heaven, saw how tiny it was
A suggestion to pray for heaven, highlighting the smallness of worldly concerns in comparison to spiritual or transcendent matters.
Little love from me, we can build this home alone
The speaker expresses a willingness to build a home alone, suggesting self-sufficiency or a readiness to face challenges independently.
Alone
Reiterates the theme of being alone, possibly reflecting a sense of isolation or independence.
Forever with you, forever with you
Repeats the idea of being forever with someone, possibly indicating a longing for lasting connection despite the acknowledgment of solitude.
I'm a home away from home and promise you'll keep this secret
The speaker is a metaphorical home away from home, asking for the listener's promise to keep a secret.
And promise you won't forgive me to tell you that smells like peaches
Asks for a promise not to forgive if the speaker reveals that something pleasant (smells like peaches) can also have negative consequences.
He who leeches on love is a lame
States that someone who takes advantage of love is undesirable or unimpressive.
Chains and left her for London, Wireless festival reparable, so good when he wasn't
References a specific event (Wireless festival in London) and suggests that even enjoyable experiences can become irreparable.
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