Lyrics
Alone at night I think about what I'd do
Reflecting on solitude, contemplating actions when alone.
If the person I was meant to be ever shines through
Questioning if the true self will ever be revealed.
How I spend my days trying to be
Describing efforts to be the type of person desired by someone.
The kind of kid that you want close to you
Aspiring to be close to someone important.
And I know how this one ends
Awareness of a predictable outcome or consequence.
We want the ones that we can't have
Expressing desire for what is unattainable.
So what the fuck is wrong with me?
Questioning personal issues and internal struggles.
Why can't I let go of you?
Struggling to let go of someone significant.
The first time all I saw were your eyes
Recalling the initial impact of the person's eyes.
And now I can't stand to look inside them
Unable to bear looking into the person's eyes now.
It's not your distance that's killing me
Highlighting that physical distance isn't the issue.
It's being close to you that makes me close to myself
Feeling a deep connection when in close proximity.
And I can't stand the way I am
Expressing dissatisfaction with one's own behavior or character.
I push away the ones who love me
Intentionally pushing away those who care.
And I embrace the apathy
Choosing to embrace indifference or lack of interest.
And hang from all your lies
Suffering from the consequences of deception and falsehood.
And if I could I'd take back my words
Expressing a desire to retract spoken words.
And heal my heart
Wishing for emotional healing.
If I could I'd take back the secrets
If possible, retracting shared secrets.
My stitched up heart
Desiring restoration for a wounded heart.
If I could I'd forget your face
If possible, erasing memories associated with the person.
A brand new start
Expressing a wish for a new beginning.
If I could I'd show you how
If possible, revealing the pain caused by the person.
You tore me apart
Conveying the emotional damage inflicted by the person.
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