Everything Happens to Me
Life's Twists and Turns: Embracing Fate in Patti LuPone's Melody
Lyrics
I make a date for gown,
I plan to dress up formally.
You can bet your life it rains.
It invariably rains when I plan something.
Tried to give a party
Attempted to host a gathering.
But the guy upstairs complains.
Neighbor upstairs objected to it.
Guess I'll go through life
My life seems filled with mishaps.
Catching colds and missing trains.
I often get sick and miss transportation.
Everything happens to me.
Difficult events consistently happen to me.
I never miss a thing
I am never absent from unfortunate situations.
I've had the measles and the mumps.
Experienced various illnesses.
And every time I play an ace
In card games, when I have an advantage, I still lose.
My partner always trumps.
My partner manages to outdo me.
Guess I'm just a fool
I act without thinking ahead.
Who never looks before he jumps.
I tend to act impulsively.
Everything happens to me.
Unfortunate occurrences happen frequently to me.
At first I thought that you would end this jinx for me.
I initially believed you would break this pattern of misfortune.
And love would turn the trick to end despair.
I thought love would resolve my despair.
Now I just cant fool this head that thinks for me.
My rational mind cannot deceive me anymore.
I've mortgaged all my castles in the air.
I've risked everything for impractical dreams.
Well I've telegraphed and phoned.
I've tried various means to communicate with you.
Sent an air mail special too.
Attempted to reach out by different methods.
Your answer was goodbye.
Your response was a farewell.
There was even postage due.
I even had to pay for the rejection.
Fell in love just once,
Fell in love only once, and it was with you.
And it had to be with you.
You are the sole object of my affection.
Everything happens to me.
(Refrain)
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