Jeff Found A Genie
The Tale of Jeff: Boundless Wishes Turned Curse
Lyrics
Jeff found a genie in a bottle
Jeff discovers a genie in a bottle.
Who said "I can give you anything you ask
The genie offers to grant Jeff any wishes he desires.
You can have your wishes three, and a million more for free
Jeff can have three wishes initially and unlimited additional wishes for free.
It's unlimited just set me to the task"
The genie emphasizes the unlimited nature of her granting abilities.
Well Jeff thought a while, said "I want houses
Jeff expresses his first set of wishes, including houses, boats, and modern art.
I want boats, I want fancy modern art
Jeff desires tickets to the Met, a private jet, and a rocket into space.
I want tickets to the met, I want my own private jet
Jeff is ambitious and extravagant in his wishes.
And a rocket into space, just for a start"
The genie fulfills Jeff's wishes, and the town admires his newfound wealth.
Well the genie waved her arms and made it happen
The genie effortlessly makes Jeff's wishes come true.
His every wish bolted from the blue
The townspeople are fascinated by Jeff's extraordinary luck.
And folks all over town, grew enamored gathered round
Public admiration grows for Jeff, the man with granted wishes.
To admire the man who's wishes had come true
The community celebrates Jeff's abundance.
They said "let's hear it for the man who has everything
The crowd applauds Jeff for having everything.
By good fortune he was set so far apart
Jeff is acknowledged for being fortunate and exceptional.
Yeah let's hear it for Jeff who's got everything
Continued praise for Jeff and his endless wishes.
'Cause his wishes are only at the start"
The crowd recognizes that Jeff's wishes are just the beginning.
Well Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried
Jeff becomes bothered by the attention and interference from others.
He said "everybody's getting in my way"
Jeff feels everyone is obstructing his life.
The genie smiled as before, "you've got a million wishes more
The genie reassures Jeff of having a million more wishes and the option to share them.
You can even give a bunch of them away"
Jeff, feeling overwhelmed, contemplates giving away some wishes.
Well Jeff got confused and sorta quiet
Jeff is perplexed and becomes silent.
'Til he finally said "I have just one wish more
Jeff, deciding, expresses his final wish for the genie's demise.
I am satisfied, so I wish that you would die
Jeff is content and wishes for the end of the genie's wish-granting ability.
So you cannot grant wishes anymore"
The genie acknowledges and fulfills Jeff's wish to no longer grant wishes.
Well the genie's eyes got big and sad and shiny
The genie reacts with sadness and compliance to Jeff's final wish.
'Til she finally said "your wish is my command"
The genie confirms she will follow Jeff's command.
And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes
The genie disappears, and Jeff's wishes are no longer granted.
And no wishes were ever granted there again
After the genie leaves, wishes cease to be fulfilled in that place.
So let's hear it for the man who has everything
The crowd continues to praise Jeff for having everything.
By good fortune he was set so far apart
Jeff is celebrated for his extraordinary luck and abundance.
Let's hear it for Jeff who has everything
Continued acknowledgment of Jeff's wealth and fortune.
Every single fucking thing except a heart
The irony is revealed as Jeff lacks emotional fulfillment despite having everything else.
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