Reasons To Never Date Again
Navigating the Modern Maze of Love: A Satirical Anthem
Lyrics
I just went out on a date that turned out not to be a date
Describing a meeting that wasn't perceived as a romantic encounter.
Just a solo dinner where you're increasingly late
A solitary dinner where the other person arrives increasingly late.
I call you and you say you wrote a text that you forgot to send
Excuse given for not responding to a message, implying a lack of interest.
I just smile and say goodnight and swear I'll never date again
The protagonist decides to end dating due to the unpleasant experience.
Picking clothes is such a chore I never know what I should wear
Difficulty in choosing clothes, unsure of appropriate attire.
Am I too assertive if I wear that special underwear
Uncertainty about appearing too forward or assertive.
I clean my room and water my plants in case you come over and then
Preparation for a potential date's visit, hoping for company.
I come home drunk and alone and swear I'll never date again
Returning home intoxicated and alone, reinforcing the decision to stop dating.
I thought that modern dating would get easier with time
Expectation that modern dating would become easier over time, but it hasn't.
I'd have good communication and not have to read your mind
Desire for open communication without the need for guessing intentions.
I think that even Sisyphus would hate his uphill climb
Comparing the difficulty of dating to Sisyphus's futile task.
And I'm not sure that Tinder was what Darwin had in mind
Questioning if Tinder aligns with Darwin's evolutionary theories.
Message in your inbox with the same joke I've told a million times
Repetitive messages received, possibly signifying lack of originality or interest.
Timing out your texts to match the tempo of your last reply
Strategically timing responses to match the pace of the conversation.
I could play these games or skip the middleman and sodomize my brain
Considering avoiding dating games by engaging in self-destructive behavior.
At least my mind is getting some, more reasons to never date again
Concluding that avoiding dating provides more reasons not to pursue it.
Making plans for ten days time that I know she'll never keep
Making plans for the future despite the expectation they won't be fulfilled.
Someone's mom just got to town, someone's cat got put to sleep
Notable events in others' lives taking precedence over maintaining plans.
we'll make plans when they get back but never mentions where or when
Planning without commitment from the other party, adding to dating frustrations.
I've diagnosed another ghost and reason, to never again
Identifying another instance of being "ghosted" as a reason to avoid dating.
I thought that modern dating would get easier with time
Reiteration of the hope for easier modern dating, expressing frustration.
I'd have good communication and not have to read your mind
Desire for clear and straightforward communication in relationships.
I think that even Sisyphus would hate his uphill climb
Reinforcing the comparison between dating difficulty and Sisyphus's struggle.
And I'm not sure that Tinder was what Darwin had in mind
Repeating doubt about the compatibility of Tinder with Darwin's theories.
Everything's so casual everything's so cool
Observation that relationships seem casual and relaxed in the modern dating scene.
Don't let someone close enough to push you in the pool
Warning against getting emotionally close to someone who might hurt you.
Well I want someone to ruin my life I wanna fall in love again
Expressing a desire for love despite the negative experiences encountered.
But instead you only ruin my night with reasons to never date again
Feeling discouraged by experiences, further solidifying the decision to avoid dating.
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