Private Despair
Private Despair: Unraveling the Depths of Inner Turmoil
Lyrics
I am the shell of a man I was before
I feel like a mere shadow of my former self.
Creeping and crawling along this broken world
Navigating through a world that seems irreparably damaged.
Fucked it all up I'm a piece of shit
I've messed everything up, and I see myself as worthless.
Life flowing out my body bit by bit
My life is slowly slipping away, and I'm losing vitality.
Past decisions haunt me to the core
Regrets from past choices are deeply troubling me.
Friends and family won't talk to me anyone
My relationships are shattered; no one wants to associate with me.
Ruined my life now I must pay the toll
I've ruined my life, and now I must face the consequences.
Not even god can save this broken soul
I'm beyond redemption, even divine intervention won't help.
I'm walking I'm running I'm tripping I'm falling down
I'm experiencing a chaotic journey—walking, running, stumbling, and falling.
I'm lying I'm crying I'm breaking my bones apart
Physically and emotionally broken, I'm in intense pain.
I'm scaring and tearing this city to pieces yeah
Causing destruction and chaos in the city.
I'm the forgotten brother of this fuckin human race
I feel neglected and overlooked in the human race.
I will never be the man I want to be
I doubt I'll ever become the person I aspire to be.
If only you'd open your eyes and see
If only someone would understand and empathize.
At this point I've lost my will to care
I've reached a point of apathy and indifference.
Scream my name I am private despair
Calling out to be acknowledged as a private embodiment of despair.
You're probably wondering how I got this way
Reflecting on how I ended up in this state.
Corpse of a life, no breath to take away
My life feels lifeless, with no purpose left.
Soaring amiss on a murderous rampage
Engaging in destructive behavior, leaving a memorable mark.
These folks will remember my twisted face
My distorted face will be the lasting memory for those affected.
Fucked it up, shit outta luck, I'm done
I've messed up so badly that there's no turning back.
If loosing your mind is a game I guess I won
In the metaphorical game of losing one's mind, I've emerged as the winner.
Lying and dying I need that one last hit
Desperation for a final escape through substance use.
This life is a lie and at this point I'm done with it
My life feels like a lie, and I'm ready to abandon it.
But truly I'm loosing this game that we call life
Struggling and feeling defeated in the challenging game of life.
Shooting and looting I never run out of steam
Engaging in destructive activities without respite.
I'm fucked, this sucks, put me out of my misery
Feeling utterly hopeless and wishing for an end to suffering.
The devil is fake, what they're speaking of is me
Rejecting the idea of a supernatural evil, acknowledging the darkness within.
I will never be the man I want to be
Reiteration of the struggle to become a better person.
If only you'd open your eyes and see
Yearning for understanding from others.
At this point I've lost my will to care
Indifference has consumed any remaining care I had.
Scream my name I am private despair
Declaring oneself as a private embodiment of despair, seeking acknowledgment.
Bleak empty mindset
Describing a desolate and bleak mental state.
World burns down
A metaphor for the world crumbling and falling apart.
Hollow is my name
Expressing a sense of emptiness and lack of identity.
King of the darkness, it's time to take my throne
Embracing darkness and acknowledging a sinister throne.
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