Lyrics
I may not be the men I've been
I acknowledge that I've changed from my past selves.
I'm still responsible for them
I bear responsibility for the actions of my past personas.
All of the hatred and the spite
I recognize and regret the negativity I've expressed.
I've let myself let out ain't right
Admitting that expressing negativity was not the right path.
And there's no way to put it back
Realizing that certain actions cannot be undone.
Small kindnesses are good and cute
Small acts of kindness are positive but don't erase past negativity.
But won't erase the poison spewed
Acts of kindness cannot undo the harm caused by hurtful words.
From monsters I couldn't subdue
Referencing negative influences that couldn't be controlled.
I speak as though I rose above
Speaking as if having overcome challenges and evolved.
Transcended muck and have become
Claiming to have transcended difficulties and changed.
A better person than I am
Questioning the authenticity of personal growth.
However bad or good I feel
Acknowledging that personal feelings won't alter past impacts.
It won't change those who've had to deal
Acknowledging the enduring effects on those affected by past actions.
With my toxic proximity
Reflecting on the negative influence on others in close proximity.
Am I the man I want to be?
Questioning one's current identity and values.
The time has long passed for accountability
Realizing the need for accountability and self-reflection.
I keep on doing shitty things
Admitting to continuing negative behaviors.
For all the consequence they bring
Accepting the consequences of repeated negative actions.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop
Anticipating negative outcomes due to ongoing negative behavior.
I'm a certain someone in my head
Recognizing a duality between internal and external identity.
But he won't matter when I'm dead
Understanding personal insignificance in the larger world.
To the world at large he'll never be
Acknowledging the limited impact of internal identity on external perception.
Because the man I am inside
Stating that internal qualities are irrelevant when making negative choices.
Means shit all when I still decide
Acknowledging the negative impact of personal decisions on others.
To fuck up someone else's day
Admitting to continuing harmful actions affecting others.
To believe that I can redeem
Rejecting the possibility of personal redemption for past mistakes.
Past actions is a fever dream
Considering the idea of personal redemption unrealistic.
One I'll no longer entertain
Deciding to stop entertaining the idea of personal redemption.
What have I become?
Reflecting on the perceived negative transformation.
What do I do now?
Pondering the next steps or actions to take.
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