Lyrics
I stopped weeding the garden
I stopped tending to the garden, neglecting its maintenance.
Started shaving my head
I began to shave my head, possibly as a symbolic or physical change.
I stopped holding my body
I ceased taking care of myself physically.
Let it hold me instead
I allowed my body to comfort and support me instead.
I stopped writing you letters that you'll never read
I stopped writing letters addressed to you, knowing you won't read them.
Stopped wondering if you're remembering me
I stopped wondering if you still remember me.
I'm not who you knew anyways
I've changed so much that I'm unrecognizable to you.
I've been big and small and big and small again
I've experienced various phases of growth and regression repeatedly.
I've been a baby a woman and then a kid again
I've transitioned through different stages of life, from infancy to adulthood and back.
I am more than the storms that I've weathered
I am more than the challenges I've faced.
I am beyond the bounds of your gaze
I am not confined by your perception of me.
Underneath I believe there is someone
Deep down, I believe there is a core identity within me.
And I'll keep them safe
I am committed to protecting that essence within myself.
A month since Atlanta
A period of time has passed since being in Atlanta.
Sometimes it feels like a day
Despite time passing, it feels recent, almost like just a day ago.
Oh my sisters I wonder
I'm curious about my sisters, possibly missing or longing for them.
Can you hear me calling your names
I'm hoping they can hear my call to them.
Oh I wish you could tell me your stories
I wish I could hear their stories, empathize, and share their burdens.
Oh I wish I could carry your pain
I wish I could alleviate their pain and suffering.
I find myself calling my mother with nothing to say
I find myself contacting my mother without any specific message.
I've been big and small and big and small again
I've experienced fluctuations in my sense of self, repeatedly.
I've been a baby a woman and then a kid again
I've cycled through different life stages multiple times.
I was never the names that they gave me
I refuse to be defined by the labels society has given me.
I am shedding the skins of my shame
I am letting go of the shame associated with those identities.
Underneath I believe there is someone
I believe there's a true self underneath all these layers.
And I'll keep them safe
I'm dedicated to safeguarding that authentic self within me.
Underneath I believe I am someone
I have faith that I'll encounter that genuine self someday.
And I'll meet them someday
I believe I'll eventually meet that true self in the future.
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