Lyrics
I spent a long long time out at night
I spent a significant amount of time during the night.
Studying the patterns every time
Examining and analyzing patterns consistently.
On the same old thing
Engaged in the same monotonous experience.
With the same routine
Following a repetitive daily schedule.
Putting all their dreams
Investing efforts and aspirations.
Into angel wings it's fine
Transforming dreams into something beautiful, possibly metaphorically represented as angel wings.
I lied
Admitting to deception or falsehood.
But it's the only way
Justifying lies as the only means to bring brightness or clarity to life.
That I can seem to make light
Creating a facade to cope with the challenges of life.
Of this life
Reflecting on the difficulty of existence.
Forgive me now
Requesting forgiveness at this moment.
I don't want to cry
Expressing a desire to avoid crying.
I spent every single year on the same street
Spending every year in the same place or situation.
New name new friends but I'm still me
Undergoing changes externally but remaining the same internally.
A casualty of living on a lost dream
Being a victim of pursuing an unrealized dream.
But actually I was hoping you would kill me
Expressing a desire for relief through potential harm or danger.
In the fear that everybody kinda hates me
Fearing that others dislike or resent the speaker.
Blame me
Taking responsibility or guilt for a situation.
I've been feeling guilty
Feeling a sense of remorse or culpability.
Really
Emphasizing the high cost of living.
Living is costly
Acknowledging the burden of existence.
They say they want me
Others express a desire for the speaker.
I'm wondering will we
Contemplating the potential for a relationship.
Somehow it got to me
Experiencing an emotional impact.
I ain't even eating I'm just picking out rocket leaves
Not engaging in proper nourishment, possibly neglecting self-care.
Never really hungry 'less I'm off of that broccoli
Having a lack of appetite unless consuming a specific substance (broccoli).
And even when I am all I feel is the rot in me
Even when eating, feeling internal decay or corruption.
Inside of my brain is a living cacophony
The speaker's mind is chaotic and noisy.
Every time the same screaming what have they saw in me
Recurring thoughts or experiences causing distress.
They don't understand why I talk about honestly
Others don't comprehend the speaker's honest expressions.
Cause honestly I think I owe myself an apology
The speaker believes they owe themselves an apology.
I spent a long long time out at night
Repeating the experience of spending a significant amount of time during the night.
Studying the patterns every time
Continuing the pattern of analyzing and studying.
On the same old thing
Engaging in the same monotonous experience.
With the same routine
Following a repetitive daily schedule.
Putting all their dreams
Investing efforts and aspirations.
Into angel wings it's fine
Transforming dreams into something beautiful, possibly metaphorically represented as angel wings.
I lied
Admitting to deception or falsehood.
But it's the only way
Justifying lies as the only means to feel alive.
To make me feel alive
Throwing hopes on a gamble, taking a risk with the potential for emotional release.
I throw my hopes on a one side die
If the outcome is favorable, avoiding the need to cry.
If it lands just right
(No specific meaning provided in this line.)
Maybe I won't need to cry
Expressing a potential desire to avoid crying through a positive outcome.
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