Lyrics
The night that you left
The night when the person addressed in the lyrics left.
And scared me to death
Expressing extreme fear caused by the departure.
Not knowing where you were
Feeling lost and anxious due to not knowing the person's whereabouts.
Honestly thought you were dead
Misbelieving that the person might be dead.
Then you walk back in late
The person returns late without explaining.
Not saying a word
Arriving silently and without communication.
You just look at me as if you'd done something wrong
The returning person appears guilty or remorseful.
I asked what did you do
Questioning the person about their actions.
You said you hurt yourself, it was nothing new
The person admits self-harm as something familiar.
I put my arms out and you fell right into them
Offering comfort and support to the person who harmed themselves.
I asked why did you do that
Seeking an explanation for the self-harm.
You said you lost your worth and you felt the need to
The person justifies self-harm due to a perceived loss of value.
You said "you know I love you
Expressing love and denying intention to cause harm.
Didn't do this to hurt you
Clarifying that the actions were not intended to hurt the partner.
I just lost my way
Admitting to losing one's way and engaging in harmful behavior.
And went to something I knew wouldn't help
Turning to something known not to help, possibly a negative coping mechanism.
But it gives me a different satisfaction that nothing else could allow
Finding satisfaction in the harmful behavior despite its negative consequences.
I'm really sorry I just couldn't help myself"
Expressing remorse and apologizing for being unable to resist the harmful behavior.
The night that I left
Referring to a night when the speaker left.
I scared myself to death
Experiencing extreme fear due to one's own actions.
Knew I shouldn't do what I started to
Aware that certain actions shouldn't have been taken.
Before I went home
Before returning home after engaging in potentially harmful activities.
Looked for an apothecary
Searching for a remedy or solution.
Didn't get to our front door until early hours of the morning
Arriving home late in the early hours of the morning.
You were sitting up
Finding the partner awake and concerned.
I didn't say a word
No communication, only a meaningful look with tears in the eyes.
I just gave you a look as tears filled up my eyes
The partner is visibly upset.
You asked what did you do
The partner questions the speaker about their actions.
I said I hurt myself, it was nothing new
The speaker admits self-harm as something habitual.
You put your arms out and I fell right into them
The partner provides comfort and support.
You asked why did you do that
Seeking an explanation for the self-harm from the partner's perspective.
I said I lost my worth and I felt the need to
The speaker justifies self-harm due to a perceived loss of value.
But you know I love you
Expressing love and denying intention to cause harm, mirroring the partner's words.
Didn't do this to hurt you
Clarifying that the actions were not intended to hurt the partner, mirroring the partner's words.
I just lost my way
Admitting to losing one's way and engaging in harmful behavior, mirroring the partner's words.
And went to something (somewhere) I knew wouldn't help
Turning to something known not to help, possibly a negative coping mechanism, mirroring the partner's words.
But it gives me a different satisfaction that nothing else could allow
Finding satisfaction in the harmful behavior despite its negative consequences, mirroring the partner's words.
I'm really sorry I just couldn't help myself
Expressing remorse and apologizing for being unable to resist the harmful behavior, mirroring the partner's words.
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