Lyrics
I lost my callouses for you
I sacrificed my toughness or resilience for you
And you didn't even think to ask me how my day was
You neglected to inquire about my day
Now I'm leaving
As a result, I am departing
I couldn't even count the number of times
I cannot quantify the instances
That I let you in and I made myself small
I allowed you into my life and diminished myself numerous times
Even though I smile through out it all
Despite smiling, I endured it all
When I look back
Reflecting on the past, I notice my decline
I can see myself slipping down
I see myself gradually losing ground
Heaven knows, heaven knows I tried
Despite my efforts, I faced challenges
Heaven knows I tried tonight
I tried hard tonight
I know it's not your fault
I understand it's not your fault
You were born with a spoon in your throat
You were privileged from birth
And a gun in your hand and a plan for yourself
With advantages and a self-directed plan
I'm not grieving
I'm not mourning
It's just a matter of time and a matter of what
Time will reveal and decide
And you've known since birth what you like
From birth, you knew your preferences
And I'm happy for you until my face is blue
I'm happy for you until I turn blue
When I look back
Looking back, I see myself clearly
I can see myself so clear
I see a clear image of myself
When I look back
When retrospectively examining
I can see myself slipping down
I see myself losing ground
Tonight will be the night
Tonight marks a significant moment
Heaven knows, heaven knows I tried
Despite my efforts, challenges persist
Tonight will be the night
Anticipating a crucial night
Heaven knows I tried tonight
I tried hard tonight
Tonight will be the night
Expecting a defining moment
Heaven knows, heaven knows I tried
Despite my efforts, challenges persist
Tonight will be the night
Anticipating a crucial night
Heaven knows I tried tonight
I tried hard tonight
Tonight will be the night
Expecting a defining moment
Heaven knows, heaven knows I tried
Despite my efforts, challenges persist
Tonight will be the night
Anticipating a crucial night
Heaven knows I tried tonight
I tried hard tonight
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