When I Drive
Journey through Melancholy: Exploring the Meaning Behind 'When I Drive'
Lyrics
When I drive I like looking at the billboards
Driving allows the speaker to observe billboards.
And I pretend to know the words to every song
The speaker pretends to know lyrics to all songs.
Been putting miles on the Honda that we went halfsies on
Using a shared car, implying a past relationship.
Talk to myself
Talking to oneself while driving.
And blow my voice out
Singing loudly to the point of straining the voice.
And lately I've been listening to sad songs
Recent preference for sad music.
I play pretend that I'm the one they sing about
Identifying with the emotions in sad songs.
And the only time I feel at home is when nothing is right
Feeling at home when everything feels wrong.
I still manage to sleep okay through the night
Despite difficulties, sleeping fine at night.
Spent a year loving someone I can't talk to
Spent a year loving someone they can't communicate with.
And that vast and wild silence made me thin
Isolated and contemplative due to the silence of that relationship.
But at least it gave me something to hold onto
Finding solace in the memories of that past relationship.
I check my phone way more often than I care to
Excessive checking of the phone despite reluctance.
But when I drive I can picture him beside me
Imagining the presence of the past lover while driving.
And we talk and laugh and sometimes stop for coffee
Creating an imagined interaction during the drive.
And I throw him a knowing look before pulling over
Sharing knowing looks with the imagined presence.
And we lose all sense of direction for a few hours
Losing track of direction during these moments.
And my room doesn't feel like my room
Feeling detached from one's own space.
I used to think it sad but now I don't
Acceptance of the restlessness and finding peace in driving.
Cause whenever I get restless I just grab my keys and go
Using driving as a remedy for restlessness.
And I drive until I feel like going home
Driving until feeling ready to return home.
And in a way I think I'm scared of being happy
Fearing the transient nature of happiness.
For the fear that it just won't last
Comfort in melancholy, fearing the fleetingness of happiness.
I find I'm comfortable within the melancholy
Content within a melancholic state.
And I won't mind if it's like this 'til I'm dead
Acceptance of a potentially perpetually melancholic state.
Sooner or later I'll run out of money
Concern about running out of resources for driving.
To pay for gas and oil changes and tow trucks
Financial worries related to maintaining the car.
And when that day comes I hope I'll have somebody
Hope for companionship when resources run out.
Cause when I drive I think that's what I'm running from
Using driving as a means of escape.
And everywhere I go my friends oh they love me
Feeling loved and appreciated by friends.
They show me their worlds and they're so pretty
Experiencing the beauty of friends' lives.
And everyday I wonder if that life is for me
Contemplating if a different life is suitable.
Cause until now the only time I feel at home is when I drive
Feeling at home only while driving.
The only time I feel at home is when I drive
Reiteration of feeling at home solely during drives.
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