Honestly
Struggles with Self-Deception: Spermbirds' Reflection on Integrity
Lyrics
I will try to be good
I will make an effort to be good.
and be right
I will strive to do what is right.
when i say that i am
When I claim to be something,
i will listen
I will actively listen.
and look like i care
I will appear concerned and attentive.
and that i understand
I will try to comprehend.
i'll be friendly
I'll behave in a friendly manner.
and fair and discreet
I'll be fair and discreet in my actions.
and look the other way
I'll choose to ignore certain things.
i'll be helpful
I'll offer assistance.
and often polite
I'll be polite most of the time.
almost everyday
These behaviors will be a daily occurrence.
honestly
Honestly.
These are things that I tell myself
These are affirmations I tell myself,
and almost believe
and I almost believe them.
split-second decisions
I make split-second decisions
to comfort and deceive
to comfort and deceive.
These are my traps and fake outs
These are my traps and deceptive actions.
These are my prisoners
Others become victims of my deceit.
These are things that I tell myself
These are the self-deceptions I maintain,
honestly
Honestly.
I will do all these things
I commit to doing all these things
cause I truly believe
because I genuinely believe in their rightness.
that it's right
However, I will inevitably fail.
Then I'll fail
Failure becomes a recurring pattern.
and I'll fail
I will fail again.
and I'll fail
Failure persists.
And then I'll fight
Despite failures, I will continue to fight.
with myself
Internal conflict arises within myself.
and the way I imagine
I struggle with the idealized image of how things should be.
that things should be
Then, I'll make an attempt to change.
Then I'll try again
Honestly.
honestly
I will continue to try sincerely.
Comment