Solitaire
Embracing Scars: A Journey from Self-Hate to Self-Love in Solitaire
Lyrics
I gather that my scars are not a pretty sight
I acknowledge that my scars are not aesthetically pleasing.
But pity might lengthen time for their healin’
Pity could prolong the healing process of my scars.
I’m willin’ to be subjected to laughs and mockery
I am willing to endure laughter and mockery.
Marketing my deep marks till you learn lovin’ me
I am open to showcasing my profound wounds until you learn to love me.
Ugly, the mirror said, stay home
The mirror describes me as ugly, suggesting I should stay secluded.
Ayo, nobody needs to see that
No one needs to witness my perceived ugliness.
That feedback was fed to myself hate
Negative feedback fed my self-hate.
Ate my own poison at a fast rate
I consumed my own negativity rapidly.
My day job was fighting off bullies
My main job was defending against bullies.
Grew to be good at it that I actually became one
I became proficient at bullying, transforming into one myself.
To change from freedom fighter into warlord
Transitioning from a freedom fighter to a tyrant is challenging.
Is sure hard to realize when in your eyes you’re soft
Realizing this transformation is difficult when you perceive yourself as soft-hearted.
By soft I mean a good person
By "soft," I mean a genuinely good person.
It’s just that persons that’s around you don’t allow goodness
The people around you may hinder your goodness.
The hood lacks fertile ground to plant compassion
The environment lacks the conditions to nurture compassion.
So, me putting my sword down is out o’ the question
Abandoning aggression is not an option for me.
Now, my fans say that I’m the greatest
My fans consider me the greatest, but I'm kept a secret like a family disgrace.
But still keep me secret like the family rapist
They avoid mentioning me even in discussions about consistency and unique flow.
Won’t even whisper my name in conversations about
I dampen moods with my arrogance.
Who consistent and whose flow is different
My outspoken nature causes me to lose friends.
Can’t lie fam I spoil moods with my arrogance
I tarnish relationships with my pride.
My loose tongue is how I lose all my pair o’ friends
My hands carry grudges from childhood.
My pair o’ hands hold grudges from primary
I lose people in conflicts, perhaps from past rivalries.
When I snap, I lose people in a rivalry?
Trying to leave after the first harm, but it often repeats.
I try to leave soon after first injury repeating it is likely
No logic in forgiving me as retaliation leads to more injuries.
No sense in forgiving me
I'm better off living in isolation to avoid further harm.
Evening the score leads to more bruising
That’s why I’m better off living in seclusion
-I, try to be reciting more
I strive to express more positivity.
Colours that are rainbow and less greyscale fails
Focusing on vibrant colors instead of gloomy shades.
To not be gloomy
Attempting to avoid a pessimistic mindset.
Nd’bhal’ ububi, the dark consumes
Speaking of evil, darkness consumes me more frequently than desired.
Me more often than I want it to
Experiencing a horror show, struggling with negativity.
It’s a horror show I know
I'm not adept at expressing happiness.
I’m not fluent at speaking happiness
I believe my life is deteriorating, though there's no concrete evidence.
Convinced my life is going bad but
Ain’t no evidence
-
Comment