Pretend Best Friend
Confessions and Betrayals: Unveiling the Dark Tale of Pretend Best Friend
Lyrics
The odds have built up of the chance you're going down,
The likelihood of your downfall has increased due to accumulated odds.
'cause you're looking pretty guilty in the court of the crown,
You appear guilty in the court of public opinion or authority.
And my friend's getting eager to complete this mission,
A friend is eager to carry out a mission, possibly related to the situation.
It's better all round just to sign the confession.
It's better for everyone if you confess, implying an impending confrontation.
Doesn't matter if you're innocent or guilty as hell,
Whether innocent or guilty, a friend senses your discomfort.
My friend's got a feeling that you're feeling unwell,
The friend believes your feelings indicate guilt.
Who cares about the truth, the truth's there to bend,
Truth is disregarded, and manipulation is encouraged.
Do as I say I'm your only friend.
Follow the speaker's instructions as they claim to be your only friend.
The wicked step father that took a step farther,
A stepfather has gone beyond normal boundaries, possibly in a negative way.
Played the patron saint in his shining armor,
The stepfather presents himself as a protective figure.
With his sword of power and shield to protect you,
The stepfather wields power and a shield, suggesting authority and defense.
Tongue hanging out 'cause he's going to get you.
A threat is implied with the stepfather intending harm.
You know I want to hug you, you know I want to kiss you,
Expressing affection for a person, possibly the one facing issues.
It's your dear old pop and you know I really miss you,
The speaker misses the person in a familial context.
In the pantomime of life look out he's behind you,
A warning in the "pantomime of life" about a lurking danger.
Says no I'm just here to remind you.
The stepfather denies malicious intent, claiming to be a reminder.
Best friend I'm all that you've got,
The speaker claims to be the only support the person has.
Pretend best friend if you like it or not,
Acknowledging a deceptive or insincere friendship.
Pretend best friend so don't talk to them,
Encouraging the person not to confide in others.
You've got to talk to me 'cause I'm your best friend.
Emphasizing that the speaker is the best friend who should be trusted.
Call yourself a friend,
A criticism of someone who claims to be a friend but is aggravating.
That drives me round the bend,
Frustration with the unreliable nature of the mentioned friend.
You call me when you like,
The friend can contact the speaker at any time.
And call me what you like.
The friend can use any name when addressing the speaker.
Was it the father or the son or the holy ghost,
A list of potential figures involved in a dilemma or conflict.
The butler in the kitchen or the game-show host,
Various individuals, including mundane roles, are considered suspects.
The policeman on the corner who'll show you the way,
A person of authority is mentioned, offering guidance.
The geezer with a beard comes on Xmas day.
A playful reference to a bearded figure on Christmas Day.
Could be your mother or your father or your sister or your brother,
Familial relations are mentioned, suggesting indifference to their opinions.
Doesn't matter who it is they'll say there ain't no other,
The identity of individuals doesn't matter; others' opinions are irrelevant.
Might never see 'em or you meet them every day,
Contact frequency with individuals is inconsequential.
But who gives a damn when you hear them say.
Disregarding what others say when the speaker is present.
Best friend I'm all that you've got,
Reiteration of being the person's sole support.
Pretend best friend if you like it or not,
Emphasizing the false nature of the claimed friendship.
Pretend best friend so don't talk to them,
Advising against trusting others.
You've got to talk to me 'cause I'm your best friend
Asserting the speaker's importance as the best friend who should be confided in.
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