Papillon
Navigating Desolation: Papillon's Tale of Solitude and Redemption
Lyrics
All dressed up, no place to run
Feeling ready and prepared, but with no direction to go.
No car, no girl, no pills, no fun
Lack of a car, romantic partner, drugs, or enjoyment.
Nothing to do in this empty room
Boredom and emptiness in the current situation.
I gotta get my head together soon
A need to gather one's thoughts and emotions.
Alone again, no plans, no friends
Isolation without plans or companionship.
You come around at half past ten
Someone enters the scene late at night.
You say "How are you holding up my friend?
Concern and inquiry about the person's well-being.
Are you sitting around getting drunk again?"
Questioning if the person is resorting to alcohol again.
And I hear the desperation of those lines
Recognition of desperation and wasted time in the person's words.
Wasted hours, others wasted time
Acknowledgment of time lost on unproductive activities.
Uh, yeah, I been just fine!
Asserting that everything is fine, despite evidence to the contrary.
Then we're out the door in an hour more
Leaving the current situation within an hour.
We stumble down from the second floor
Descend from a higher place, possibly metaphorical.
And we're swaying, braying
Unsteady movement and incoherent speech.
We don't know what we're saying
Confusion or lack of understanding of their own words.
And you grab my shirt, your way so curt
A physical gesture that seems abrupt or blunt.
I swear to God that this doesn't hurt
Denial of emotional pain when physically hurt.
When you stare like that, you put on that act
Observing a performative behavior or facade.
You say something and then you take it back
Communication followed by retractions or contradictions.
And I feel as though I've done something wrong
Feeling guilty or responsible for an unspecified mistake.
Oh, how I miss you when you're gone
Longing for the person when they are not present.
And I wish I had the guts to scream
Desire to express feelings boldly.
You know, things aren't always what they seem
Acknowledgment that appearances can be deceptive.
When you walk away, I want to stay
Wishing for the person to stay when they want to leave.
Don't leave me here to pace and pray
Fear and anxiety about being left alone.
All these nights I burnt, hours I turned
Reflecting on wasted nights and time spent.
You think that by now I'd learned
Realization that learning from experiences hasn't occurred.
That you're only what you pretend to be
Being only what one pretends to be, lacking authenticity.
I guess that was just lost on me
Admitting a failure to understand this concept.
I can't stand the way you look at me
Discomfort with the way someone perceives or judges.
In that dress
Disapproval of how someone looks, possibly in a judgmental context.
Oh, happy, alright I might be, I guess
Mixed feelings of happiness and acknowledgment of personal issues.
If I wasn't such a mess
Acknowledging personal struggles and chaos.
I'm such a mess
Repetition emphasizing personal disarray or emotional state.
I'm such a mess
Reiteration of being in a state of messiness.
I'm such a mess
Continued emphasis on personal disarray or emotional turmoil.
I'm such a mess
Repeating the declaration of being in a state of messiness.
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