Sleeping Equations
Embracing Shadows: A Journey from Fear to Redemption
Lyrics
I want to bleed like I used to, back when I was so vulnerable.
I desire to experience vulnerability again, symbolized by bleeding as in the past.
I wish that I could speak to you, talking up instead of talking down
Expressing a wish to communicate openly and positively rather than condescendingly.
I thought I was all grown up, more like a child in a man's suit
Feeling mature externally but recognizing internal immaturity, wearing a metaphorical adult disguise.
Growing tall instead of growing down, when I should have planted roots
Regret for not establishing deep connections and roots while growing upward.
I’m still afraid of the dark
Admitting a lingering fear of the unknown, darkness symbolizing uncertainties.
I’m still scared to death of leaving someday
Fear of departing from life, a deep anxiety about the inevitability of leaving.
I’m scared of opening up
Reluctance to be emotionally vulnerable and reveal inner feelings.
I closed myself down, thinking I might be able to fake
Choosing to hide true self, attempting to deceive others by closing off emotions.
Every uphill fight, every sleepless night that I just spent lying awake
Reflecting on struggles and sleepless nights, possibly related to personal growth.
I still remember the times when I lost my mind
Nostalgia for moments of losing composure and mental stability.
And all those tears I made you waste
Regret for causing emotional pain and wasting tears.
I never had much grace
Acknowledging a lack of grace, perhaps in actions or behavior.
I had big, big plans that never seemed to formulate.
Unfulfilled ambitions and plans that never materialized.
I was carrying stones inside this home, I thought I had a brilliant escape.
Carrying burdens (stones) in life, believing in a false escape plan.
I was crying from a big glass house, it was luck I made it out okay
Surviving a difficult situation (glass house), realizing the luck in making it through.
When the whole thing fell, it was just as well, you know it finally made sense to me
Acceptance of a significant life event and understanding its meaning.
I’m still afraid of the dark
Reiteration of fear of the unknown or uncertainties.
I’m still scared to death of leaving someday
Continued fear of the inevitability of leaving or losing loved ones.
I’m scared of opening up
Repeating the hesitancy to be emotionally open.
I closed myself down, thinking I might be able to fake
Choosing to maintain emotional closure to deceive others.
Every uphill fight, every sleepless night that I just spent lying awake
Reflection on enduring challenges and sleepless nights.
I still remember the times when I lost my mind
Nostalgia for moments of losing composure and mental stability.
And all those tears I made you waste
Regret for causing emotional pain and wasting tears.
I never had much grace
Acknowledging a lack of grace, perhaps in actions or behavior.
I was chasing a pipedream that I could be anything
Pursuing unrealistic dreams, hoping to be anything without a clear path.
I was told to play my luck
Advised to take risks, but feeling luckless in life's endeavors.
Hollow and breathless, stuck in a moment, I painted myself shut
Feeling empty and stuck in a moment, shutting oneself off from experiences.
Something was watching me out in the distance, saying I should just back down
Sensing external pressure to give up and withdraw from a challenging situation.
This light might be faint, but it’s enough to dig me out
Faint hope in a difficult situation, enough to inspire resilience.
I’m still afraid of the dark
Reiteration of fear of the unknown or uncertainties.
I’m still scared to death of leaving someday
Continued fear of the inevitability of leaving or losing loved ones.
I’m scared of opening up
Repeating the hesitancy to be emotionally open.
I closed myself down, thinking I might be able to fake
Choosing to maintain emotional closure to deceive others.
Every uphill fight, every sleepless night that I just spent lying awake
Reflection on enduring challenges and sleepless nights.
I still remember the times when I lost my mind
Nostalgia for moments of losing composure and mental stability.
And all those tears I made you waste
Regret for causing emotional pain and wasting tears.
I never had much grace
Acknowledging a lack of grace, perhaps in actions or behavior.
And I was laying awake
Reflecting on past moments spent awake, possibly contemplating life.
I never had much grace
Acknowledging a lack of grace, perhaps in actions or behavior.
I’m always laying awake
Ongoing struggles with finding peace or purpose, staying awake metaphorically.
Trying to find my place
Continual search for one's identity or role in life.
And all the tears that you’d waste
Recalling the emotional burden and tears caused to others.
I never had much grace
Acknowledging a lack of grace, perhaps in actions or behavior.
Comment