Lyrics
Sometimes when I get up and emerge from the mists of slumber, my whole room hurts, my whole bedroom
Sensations of physical and emotional pain upon waking, room and surroundings seem oppressive.
The view from the window hurts. Kids go to school. People go shopping
Observation of normal daily activities, contrasting with the speaker's sense of disorientation.
Everybody knows where to go. Only I don't know where I want to go
Feelings of aimlessness and indecision amidst a world with defined paths.
I get dressed, blearily, stumbling, hopping about to pull on my trousers
Description of a disoriented, haphazard attempt to get dressed.
I go and shave with my electric razor
Routine activity of shaving, but avoidance of self-reflection during the process.
For years now, whenever I shave, I've avoided looking at myself in the mirror
Long-standing avoidance of looking at oneself in the mirror due to discomfort.
I shave in the dark or around the corner. I don't like looking at myself anymore
Shaving rituals carried out in obscure settings to evade self-confrontation.
I'm scared by my own face in the bathroom
Expressing fear and discomfort towards one's own appearance.
I'm hurt even by my own appearance- I see yesterday's drunkenness in my eyes
Painful self-awareness of yesterday's actions reflected in the eyes.
I sit at the table, sometimes my hands give way under me and several times I repeat to myself
Struggling with physical and emotional weakness while sitting at a table.
"I've victoried myself away, I've reached the peak of emptiness
Recognition of personal emptiness and a sense of achieving a negative pinnacle.
I've reached the peak of emptiness and everything hurts."
Reiteration of reaching the peak of emptiness and the resulting pain.
Even the walk to the bus stop hurts, and the whole bus hurts as well
Even mundane activities like walking to the bus stop cause discomfort.
I lower my guilty looking eyes. I'm afraid of looking people in the eye
Fear and avoidance of eye contact, indicating a sense of guilt or shame.
Sometimes I cross my palms and extend my wrists
Gestures of guilt, possibly seeking absolution for perceived transgressions.
Because I feel guilty even about this once too loud a solitude which isn't loud any longer
Feelings of guilt about a past solitude that is no longer disruptive.
Because I'm hurt not only by the escalator which takes me down to the infernal regions below
Pain caused not just by descending but also by observing others ascending in life.
I'm hurt even by the looks of the people traveling up, each of them has somewhere to go
Comparison with others who have clear destinations, highlighting the speaker's uncertainty.
While I've reached the peak of emptiness and don't know where I want to go
Reiteration of reaching emptiness, emphasizing the lack of direction.
I'm hurt now. I'm hurt by this whole town in which I live
Feelings of hurt extended to the entire town where the speaker resides.
I'm hurt by this whole world- because towards morning, certain beings come to me
Global pain, including encounters with unsettling beings during the early morning hours.
Beings not unfamiliar to me
The familiarity of the encountered beings, suggesting internal struggles.
They come slowly, but surely, up the escalator of my soul and not only the faces come into focus
A metaphorical journey through the speaker's soul, revealing unsettling images.
But also certain horrible events. Just like a portrait. Or a film
Comparison of the internal experiences to visual media, highlighting their vividness.
A documentary not only about how I was ever madly in love, but also how I failed people
A documentary-style reflection on past experiences, including failures in relationships.
Everything I ever said, everything I ever did. Everything is always against me
Perception of the world as consistently against the speaker, emphasizing negativity.
The whole world hurts, and even the guardian angel of mine hurts
Globalized pain, extending even to the speaker's guardian angel.
How many times I felt like jumping from the fifth floor, from my apartment where every room hurts
Expressing thoughts of self-harm, counteracted by the intervention of the guardian angel.
But always at the last moment, my guardian angel saves me. He pulls me back
The recurring theme of the guardian angel preventing self-destructive actions.
I victoried myself away. I've reached the peak of emptiness
Reiteration of reaching emptiness, framed as a self-imposed victory.
Comment