Civil Twilight
Remembering Lost Love in Civil Twilight
Lyrics
My Confusion Corner commuters are cursing the cold away,
Commuters at Confusion Corner are expressing frustration with the cold weather.
as December tries to dissemble the length of their working day.
December is making the workday seem longer, attempting to disguise its actual duration.
And they bite their mitts off to show me transfers, deposit change.
People show transit-related gestures, revealing fare payment and handling change.
I can't stop finding your face in their faces, all rearranged
The speaker consistently sees the face of someone in the crowd, rearranged and angry, resembling a past relationship.
and angry, like you never were.
The face in the crowd appears angrier than the person ever was.
And I ease us back into traffic,
The speaker navigates back into traffic, perhaps metaphorically back into the routine of life.
dusk comes on and I wonder
Dusk begins, prompting reflection on why thoughts often return to the mentioned person.
why I'm always remembering you
The speaker questions the persistent memory of the person during civil twilight.
at civil twilight.
The speaker associates the memory of the person with "civil twilight," a metaphorical time of transition and reflection.
For the most part I think about golfing and constantly calculate
The speaker typically thinks about mundane things like golf and time calculations.
all the seconds left in the minutes, and so on, etcetera.
Constant calculation of time remaining dominates the speaker's thoughts.
Or recite the names of provinces and Hollywood actors.
The speaker engages in distracting thoughts, like reciting province names and Hollywood actors.
Oh Ontario. Oh, Jennifer Jason Leigh.
Specifically mentions thinking about Ontario and Jennifer Jason Leigh.
But this part of the day bewilders me.
This particular part of the day confuses and perplexes the speaker.
Streets slow down and ice over,
Streets slow down and freeze as dusk arrives.
dusk comes on and I struggle,
The speaker struggles emotionally as nightfall approaches.
stop to stop, to stop thinking of you
The speaker finds it hard to stop thinking about the mentioned person during civil twilight.
at civil twilight.
Hey, every other hour I pass that house
Every other hour, the speaker passes a house tied to a significant moment in the past.
where you told me
that you had to go.
The person mentioned earlier informed the speaker about their departure in this house.
I wonder if the landlord has fixed the crack
Wondering if a crack in the house, previously stared at instead of the person, has been fixed.
that I stared at
instead of staring back at you.
The speaker didn't maintain eye contact with the person during their departure.
My chance to say something
Reflecting on a missed chance to say something during the departure.
seemed so brief, but it wasn't.
The chance to speak seemed brief but was actually not, realizing there was ample time.
Now I know I had plenty of time.
The speaker acknowledges having plenty of time between sunset and complete darkness.
Between the sunset and certified darkness,
dusk comes on and I follow
Dusk arrives again, and the speaker follows the fading memories until civil twilight ends.
the exhaust from memory out to the end
of civil twilight.
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