Subdivisions
Navigating Divisions: A Winter Drive's Emotional Journey
Lyrics
Got in the car, and the cold metallic scent of snow
Entering the car, the wintry smell of snow was overpowering
Caught in my throat
The scent caused discomfort or a feeling of constriction in the throat
As I reached out to turn on the radio
Attempting to distract oneself by turning on the radio
The unfamiliar songs, the voices sing of love
New, unfamiliar songs on the radio talking about love and desires
And of wanting to dance and to sing in the rhythm of
The desire to join in the joyous, carefree rhythm of the music
The road was overwhelmed with snow
The road covered heavily in snow
Piled high in all the ditches
Snow piled high along the roadside
I drove as though I did not understand all the divisions
Driving without grasping or acknowledging societal divisions or rules
The yellow signs and the painted lines
Noticing road signs and markings delineating lanes and directions
And the order they envisioned was so clear
The clear structure and organization of the road system
I joined the steady line of cars on the highway
Joining the line of cars on the highway, seemingly heading home
As though I was going home but I drove the wrong way
Despite the appearance, driving in the wrong direction
Past the looming walls of subdivisions
Passing the imposing structures of suburban areas
Out past the strip malls, white fields and gas stations
Driving beyond commercialized areas to more rural landscapes
I wanted just to call you then
Desiring to communicate but understanding it's not feasible
But still I knew I couldn't
Being unable to make contact because of previous decisions
I left you back at home
Leaving someone at home due to personal limitations or inability
Because I simply could not do it
Being incapable of expressing the desire to be together
Tell you I could be with you
Wanting to convey being present despite knowing it's not true
When I could see right through it
Seeing through one's own falsehoods or insincerity
Our whole life
Reflecting on an entire shared life
But what if I misjudged?
Considering the possibility of misjudgment in a highly emotional state
In the wildest of emotion
Realizing the extremity of emotional reactions
I took this way too far
Recognizing overdoing or exaggerating in emotions
The highway disembodied from the rest of my experience
The highway feeling detached from personal reality
A narrow band of ice that stretched across the disappearance
A thin, icy pathway leading to a disappearance or unknown destination
Of the central plan, the guiding hand
A departure from a structured, guided life
The keeping up appearance of a life
Maintaining appearances while feeling disconnected
But what if I misjudged?
Reiterating the potential for misjudgment in emotional extremes
In the wildest of emotion
Questioning potential errors made due to intense emotions
What if I misjudged?
Repeating the consideration of potential misjudgment in emotions
In the wildest of emotion
Reiterating the concern about taking things too far emotionally
Did I take this way too far?
Questioning if actions were excessively driven by emotions
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