Lyrics
When I fall asleep I just reach for a hand that's not there
Expressing a longing for companionship and emotional support during sleep.
No it's not there
Emphasizing the absence of the desired hand for comfort.
And I try to scream but I'm so incomplete that nothing comes out but air
Feeling incomplete and unable to communicate distress effectively.
I cannot see, it's so dark in my dreams
Metaphorically describing the darkness and obscurity in dreams.
It's so cold, I feel so cold
Conveying a deep sense of emotional coldness and isolation.
It seems like it's over 'till it come back bolder
Describing a recurring emotional struggle that intensifies.
It's so old, this feeling's so old
Highlighting the enduring nature of the emotional burden.
When I fall asleep I just hold my own hand knowing it will never be yours
Finding solace in self-comfort due to the absence of the desired connection.
It's not as bad as it seems 'till my brain just gets mean
Downplaying the situation, but anticipating a worsening mental state.
And the memories come back more
Noting the return of painful memories during challenging moments.
It's really not that bad, why am I so sad?
Questioning the intensity of sadness in relation to the situation.
I'll grab my things and leave
Deciding to move on from a difficult past.
I'll leave you in the past hoping that this is the last time
Hoping for closure and an end to the emotional struggle.
My heart makes me bleed (but)
Acknowledging emotional pain while suggesting a contrasting thought.
I thought that this was meant to be
Expressing a sense of disillusionment with a supposed meant-to-be relationship.
I got hurt when I just felt like me oh
Reflecting on personal hurt and a loss of identity in love.
I thought that love was meant for me
Questioning the notion of love being free from cost or sacrifice.
I guess there's nothing that you can get for free oh
Challenging the expectation of receiving love without consequences.
But have I satisfied your need?
Raising the question of whether personal efforts have met the partner's needs.
Have I satisfied your needs for your love oh
Reflecting on the fulfillment of the partner's love-related desires.
Have I satisfied your greed?
Questioning the partner's motives and potential greed in the relationship.
Tell me what you want I'll leave when it's enough oh
Expressing a willingness to accommodate the partner's wishes but with limits.
I could be whoever you want me to be
Offering flexibility in personal identity to meet the partner's expectations.
Why don't you ever just love me for me
Seeking genuine love and acceptance for one's authentic self.
Under the weather, as cold as could be
Describing a state of emotional discomfort and vulnerability.
I think it's better if you let me be
Suggesting the idea that distance may be preferable for emotional well-being.
I could be whoever you want me to be
Repeating the willingness to adapt for the sake of the relationship.
Why don't you ever just love me for me
Reiterating the desire for authentic love and acceptance.
Under the weather, as cold as could be
Recalling emotional discomfort and the preference for solitude.
I think it's better if you let me be (but)
Reemphasizing the perceived benefit of emotional distance.
When I fall asleep I just reach for a hand that's not there
Returning to the theme of seeking a comforting presence during sleep.
No it's not there
Reiterating the absence of the desired hand for support.
And I try to scream but I'm so incomplete that nothing comes out but air
Expressing frustration at the inability to vocalize inner struggles.
I cannot see, it's so dark in my dreams
Describing the continued darkness and emotional challenges in dreams.
It's so cold, I feel so cold
Reiterating the intense emotional coldness experienced.
It seems like it's over 'till it come back bolder
Suggesting a cyclical pattern of emotional struggles and resolutions.
It's so old, this feeling's so old
Stressing the enduring and timeless nature of emotional pain.
When I fall asleep I just hold my own hand knowing it will never be yours
Finding comfort in self-support due to the unattainability of the desired connection.
It's not as bad as it seems 'till my brain just gets mean
Downplaying the severity of the situation until negative thoughts intensify.
And the memories come back more
Noting the resurgence of painful memories during challenging times.
It's really not that bad, why am I so sad?
Questioning the disproportionate sadness in relation to the circumstances.
I'll grab my things and leave
Deciding to move on from a challenging past once and for all.
I'll leave you in the past hoping that this is the last time
Expressing a final hope for closure and resolution.
My heart makes me bleed
Acknowledging the emotional pain caused by the heart.
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