Everyday
Navigating Inner Turmoil: Toby Lightman's Everyday Struggle
Lyrics
Everyday is a struggle between what I wanna say
Everyday presents a struggle between expressing my true feelings and keeping certain thoughts to myself.
And what I should keep to myself
There's a conflict between what I want to say and what I feel compelled to keep private.
And the words that manage to leave my lips
The words I speak may not harm me, but they have the potential to hurt others.
Don't hurt me, but they hurt everyone else
Despite my intentions, my words have unintended consequences, causing pain to those around me.
And I find myself in need of a pause
I feel a need for a pause, possibly indicating a desire for reflection or a break from the challenges.
I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because
The reason for the pause might be rooted in the pressure to conform to others' expectations.
Of this desire to be what others want me to be
There's a struggle to be what others want me to be, even if it's far from my true self.
Which is nothing close to me
The desired persona is vastly different from my authentic self.
But I'll see better when the smoke clears
Clarity comes when the confusion or difficulties settle.
When the smoke clears inside my head
Specifically, clarity occurs within my own thoughts and emotions.
And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat everything I've said
I can only truly listen when there is no internal chaos echoing what I've previously spoken.
And all that remains me and who I am at the end of the day
At the end of the day, what remains is the true essence of who I am, stripped of external influences.
And this happens everyday
This internal struggle and realization happen daily.
Everyday is a battle between what I wanna know
Everyday brings a conflict between seeking knowledge and avoiding uncomfortable truths.
And what I don't wanna figure out
Avoidance is evident in not wanting to figure out certain things.
And everything in between in these thoughts of mine
My thoughts contain everything in between, including elements I can't ignore or live without.
That you know I can't live with out
The inescapable thoughts are integral to my existence.
And I find myself in need of a pause
Similar to earlier, there's a need for a pause, possibly for reflection or respite from mental challenges.
I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because
The reason for the pause may be the ongoing struggle to meet others' expectations.
Of this desire to be what others want me to be
Again, the conflict involves trying to be what others want rather than embracing my true self.
Which is nothing close to me
The desired image is still far from who I genuinely am.
But I'll see better when the smoke clears
Clarity emerges when the confusion dissipates, offering a better understanding of the situation.
When the smoke clears inside my head
This clarity specifically occurs within my own mind and thoughts.
And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat everything I've said
True listening becomes possible when internal struggles no longer echo my past words.
And all that remains me and who I am at the end of the day
At the end of each day, what remains is the unaltered version of myself.
And this happens everyday
This internal conflict and realization are recurring and part of my daily experience.
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