Everything Happens to Me
Life's Comic Tragedy: Everything Happens to Me
Lyrics
I make a date for golf
I schedule a golf game
You can bet you life it rains
It is almost certain that it will rain
I try to give a party
I attempt to host a party
And the guy upstairs complains
The person living above me complains
I guess I'll go through life
I anticipate experiencing challenges and setbacks
Just catchin' colds and missin' trains
My life is characterized by catching colds and missing trains
Everything happens to me
Overall, misfortune seems to be a constant in my life
I never miss a thing,
I am very observant and do not overlook anything
I've had measles and the mumps
I have had various illnesses like measles and mumps
And every time I play my ace
Whenever I think I have an advantage, my partner manages to outdo me
My partner always trumps
My efforts often end in failure
I guess I'm just a fool,
I acknowledge that I may be foolish in my actions
Who never looks before he jumps
I tend to act without considering the consequences
Everything happens to me
Misfortune seems to be a recurring theme in my life
At first my heart tho't,
Initially, I believed that someone could break the pattern of misfortune for me
You could break this jinx for me
I hoped that love would bring an end to my despair
That love would turn the trick
Love was expected to solve my problems
To end my despair
But now, I realize that I cannot deceive my own thoughts
But now, I just can't fool,
My mind is not easily swayed, and I face the reality of my situation
This head that thinks for me
I have risked everything, even my dreams and aspirations
I've mortgaged all my castles in the air
I've put all my hopes into impractical fantasies
I've telegraphed and called,
I've tried various methods to reach out
I sent air mail special, too
I used different means of communication
You answer was goodbye
Your response was a farewell
And there was even postage due
There were even additional costs for the goodbye
I fell in love just once
I fell in love only once
And then it had to be with you
And it happened to be with you
Everything happens to me
Overall, misfortune and heartbreak seem to be a recurring theme in my life
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