Everything Happens to Me
Jinxed Heart's Lament: Life's Twists in Woody Herman's Melody
Lyrics
Black cats creep across my path
Superstition and bad luck are symbolized by black cats crossing the speaker's path.
Until I'm almost mad
The speaker feels on the brink of madness due to persistent misfortune.
I must have 'roused the devil's wrath
The speaker believes they may have angered the devil, leading to their streak of bad luck.
Cause all my luck is bad
All aspects of the speaker's life seem to be plagued by unfortunate events.
I make a date for golf and you can bet your life it rains
Despite making plans for enjoyable activities, external factors, like rain, spoil them.
I try to give a party and the guy upstairs complains
Attempts to celebrate are thwarted by complaints, possibly from neighbors.
I guess I'll go through life
The speaker anticipates a life filled with catching colds and missing opportunities.
Just catchin' colds and missin' trains
Expressing a resigned acceptance of a string of misfortunes.
Everything happens to me
The title phrase; the speaker reflects on a series of unfortunate events happening to them.
I never miss a thing
The speaker is hyper-aware and doesn't seem to miss any misfortune.
I've had the measles and the mumps
List of illnesses suggests the speaker has experienced a range of hardships.
And every time I play an ace
In card games, the speaker always faces a disadvantage; a metaphor for life's challenges.
My partner always trumps
Continuing the theme of being at a disadvantage, even in moments of apparent success.
Guess I'm just a fool who never looks before he jumps
The speaker acknowledges impulsive behavior and a lack of foresight.
Everything happens to me
Reiteration of the central theme: the speaker's life is marked by a series of unfortunate events.
At first my heart thought you could break this jinx for me
Initial hope that love could break the streak of misfortune is acknowledged.
That love would turn the trick to end despair
The speaker believed love could bring an end to despair, but it seems futile.
But know I just can't fool this head that thinks for me
The speaker realizes that their emotions cannot override the rational mind.
I've mortgaged all my castles in the air
Metaphorically, the speaker has invested heavily in dreams that are now unattainable.
I've telegraphed and phoned
Efforts to communicate and reach out to a loved one have been in vain.
I send an "Airmail Special" too
Various methods, including telegraph and phone, were used to connect without success.
Your answer was "Goodbye"
The response to the speaker's attempts at connection was a cold farewell.
And there was even postage due
Highlighting the rejection, including the additional sting of postage due.
I fell in love just once
A singular experience of falling in love is mentioned, underscoring the rarity of positive events.
And then it had to be with you
The speaker's one experience of love had to be with someone who brought them misfortune.
Everything happens to me
Final confirmation that everything, including falling in love, happens negatively to the speaker.
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