Recluse
Embracing Shadows: A Dive into Inner Struggles with 'Recluse'
Lyrics
I'm holding on
I am holding on.
To the only fleeting
To the only fleeting aspect of myself.
Part of me
This fleeting part is essential to my identity.
That keeps me in myself
It keeps me grounded within my own being.
I'm falling
I am descending.
Deeper into that which has
Deeper into something that has a strong hold on my internal self.
A grip on my insides
This entity has a grip on my emotions and inner self.
And all that is without
All that exists beyond this internal struggle.
Now for the vanishing act, oh my God
Now, for a disappearing act, an exclamation of surprise or distress.
The shadows, the walls, have always had my back
The shadows and walls have always been supportive.
I scratch my skin til I bleed, drown in my river of need
I resort to self-destructive behaviors to cope with my inner turmoil.
Caught in the noose of self reduction
Trapped in a self-destructive pattern.
Running my body to bone, the reaper of what I sow
Exhausting myself, facing consequences for my actions.
Disgusting existence
An expression of disdain for one's own existence.
All eyes behold, lend me your glare
Everyone witnesses my struggles, lend me your judgmental gaze.
Behold the burden I bear
Acknowledge the weight I carry.
Please, let me breathe
A plea for space and relief.
The silence is my friend now
Silence is now a comforting companion.
Please, let me be
A desire to be left alone, concealing inner emotions.
No one needs to know what I feel
No one should know the depth of my feelings.
Please, can't you see?
A plea for understanding.
You're only wasting your time
Rejecting external attempts to help, seeing it as futile.
Please, let me rot in my own skin
Allow me to deteriorate in my own misery.
If my mind is the ocean, your words are the undertow
Comparing the mind to an ocean, words act as a force pulling me down.
Wrapped around my ankles, and they're pulling me below
Words have a constraining effect, dragging the person into despair.
So when I've reached the bottom, healing water will fill my lungs
Anticipating reaching the lowest point, expecting a transformative experience.
Take a look back through the water, and watch what I become
Reflecting on the transformation after enduring difficulties.
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