Hunger
Transfiguration of Desire: A.O. Gerber's Reflection on Hunger and Change
Lyrics
I've been thinking about hunger
I've been contemplating the concept of hunger
How I eat when I am tired
My eating habits change when I'm fatigued
They call that transfiguration
Referring to the act of changing oneself, possibly in response to exhaustion
Make me into something wild
Desire to transform into something untamed or unconventional
Turn myself into your doorway
Expressing a willingness to adapt and be part of someone's life
Make you think it's soft inside
Suggesting a facade that makes things appear gentle or welcoming
Barbeque outside my window
Observing mundane activities (barbecue) juxtaposed with the chaotic world
While the world is still on fire
Highlighting the dissonance between ordinary life and a world in turmoil
Wish that I could pay attention
Expressing a desire to focus and remember things
Write it down so I don't speak
Writing as a means to avoid saying the wrong things
Be the person you imagine
Striving to embody the idealized version of oneself
Cardboard cut out of the week
Feeling like a superficial, temporary representation of a person
But I feel stupid for pretending
Regret for pretending or putting on a false front
Tell myself to act my age
Internal conflict about conforming to societal expectations
But in the mirror your face looks smaller
Questioning personal changes reflected in the mirror
Am I the thing that needs to change?
Uncertainty about being the cause of necessary change
Lonely hunger
Describing a form of deep, isolating desire or yearning
Put me under
Sense of being overwhelmed or suppressed by this intense longing
If I had met you in the schoolyard
Imagining meeting someone in a simpler, childhood context
When I used to own my name,
Recalling a time when personal identity was clearer and owned
Would you still know me as a child
Wondering if the person would still recognize the speaker's innocence
Full of god and free of shame?
Reflecting on a past self characterized by spirituality and lack of shame
Now I see bruises where there are none
Seeing flaws or emotional wounds that may not be externally visible
Coverup across my cheek
Covering up emotional pain, possibly with a metaphorical mask
I fill my basket up with groceries
Engaging in routine activities but avoiding deeper emotional nourishment
That I'm too afraid to eat
Avoiding confronting deeper issues, symbolized by uneaten groceries
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