Before I Died
Rebirth Reflections: Embracing Change in 'Before I Died'
Lyrics
Who was I before I died?
Questioning the identity before personal transformation or change.
You look at me with question marks for eyes
Observers have puzzled or curious expressions about the speaker.
I'm confused too, for different reasons than you
The speaker is also uncertain, but for different reasons than the observers.
All I know is that I don't
Uncertainty about one's past self or identity.
And just because you think that I am wise
Others perceive wisdom in the speaker, but that doesn't necessitate sharing.
Doesn't mean that I should tell you anything
Wisdom doesn't obligate divulging information.
At all
The speaker may choose not to share anything.
That part of me that's ashamed of who I was
Feeling shame about past actions or identity.
For all of the hiding and the drugs
Regret regarding hiding and drug use in the past.
Is softening since I learned how to love
Learning to love has softened the shame.
Now who I am is healing who I was
Present self-improvement is positively impacting the past self.
Who was I before I died?
Reiteration of questioning past identity.
A porcupine, a sharp and prickly thing
Metaphorical comparison to a porcupine, guarded and defensive.
Don't get too close, I scare easier than
Cautioning others about getting too close due to vulnerability.
Most of all, most of you know mostly true
Many perceptions about the speaker are false.
Is still completely false
Perceptions about the speaker are mostly inaccurate.
Don't be that fool, I see me in you
Advising against being fooled by false impressions.
And most of us are not an open book
People are not always transparent about their true selves.
We're a bit unseen and misunderstood
Many individuals are unseen and misunderstood.
Caught in between all our could's and should's
Caught between aspirations and obligations.
Watering the seeds
Growth and development metaphored as nurturing seeds.
waiting for the buds
Awaiting the blossoming of progress.
Who was I before I died?
Continuing the inquiry about past identity.
A shadowed gool hiding behind God
Previous self likened to a shadowy figure hiding behind faith.
Waiting to jump and spook him off his high
Desire to disrupt the established order or faith.
Horses, dogs, the deer, the frogs
Recognition of neglecting various living beings in the past.
And all the living things that I forgot
Apology for neglecting living creatures.
I'm sorry to you too
Expressing regret for past negligence.
For how I neglected you back then
When life was just darkness I had to trudge
Learning to numb emotions due to guilt and grief.
When guilt and grief taught me how to numb
Rejecting love and positive emotions during a challenging time.
I'd say, "go away, fuck off with all that love"
Present self is positively impacting the past self.
But now who I am is healing who I was
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