Lyrics
Does it help if I say that I'm sorry?
Expressing remorse and questioning if an apology would make a difference.
I know the burning in my blood has made you worry a lot
Acknowledging concern caused by the burning sensation in the blood.
Like the medicine they gave me that hurt me
Comparing the hurt from medicine to emotional pain.
If you leave when I'm sleeping, could you turn the lights off?
Requesting consideration when leaving, asking to turn off the lights.
My eyes ache if I wake up bathing in fluorescence
Discomfort upon waking up in bright light, possibly metaphorical.
It's hard to shake the phosphenes and iridescence
Struggling with lingering visual effects and shimmering colors.
When intravenous makes me feel heavy
Feeling heaviness from intravenous treatment, fragile like glass.
As frail as glass, and fading fast, I think that I'm ready to leave
Expressing readiness to leave, a sense of fragility and decline.
So give me one good reason to believe I'm getting better
Seeking a reason to believe in improvement amidst challenges.
My weight keeps fluctuating and I struggle to remember
Struggling with weight fluctuation and memory loss.
The last time I slept through the night without needing to shed my blood
Recalling difficulty sleeping without self-harm, reflecting on pain.
I'm so sick of feeling alone
Expressing frustration and fatigue from prolonged loneliness.
But I can't stop thinking about
Persistent thoughts about past instances of being left alone.
Every time that you'd leave me alone in the house
Reflecting on being left alone in the house, generating doubt.
And I'd lay in my bed, suffocating with doubt
Feeling suffocated with doubt while lying in bed.
Over whether I'd manage to function without
Concerns about functioning without the presence of a supportive figure.
Having you there to make sure I take what they gave me
Dependency on someone to ensure proper medication intake.
To kill off the pain that I'm going through daily
Using medication to cope with daily pain.
In every way that I am strong, I am also weak
Acknowledging strength and weakness in various aspects of life.
For all the words my lungs have birthed
Struggling to articulate thoughts despite having many.
I struggle to speak
Communication difficulties, especially about personal struggles.
To you about anything
Expressing difficulty discussing things that feel burdensome.
That makes me feel like a burden
Feeling burdensome and hesitant to share those feelings.
Does it hurt you if I say I can feel the decay?
Acknowledging the emotional pain and decay, possibly linked to illness.
In a hospital bed I wither away
Describing a physical decline in a hospital bed, possibly due to illness.
Behind the curtains I've been crying almost every night
Admitting to tears and emotional struggles behind a metaphorical curtain.
I don't wanna ache like this for the rest of my life
Expressing a desire to end the current emotional suffering.
So give me one good reason to believe I'm getting better
Reiterating the need for a reason to believe in improvement.
My weight keeps fluctuating and I struggle to remember
Continued struggle with weight and memory, emphasizing the challenge.
The last time I slept through a night without needing to shed my blood
Revisiting the difficulty of sleeping without self-harm, suggesting ongoing pain.
I'm so sick of feeling alone
Reiterating the fatigue and frustration of prolonged loneliness.
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