Blind Ambitioning
Navigating Life's Shadows: Cheap Vacation's Reflections on Isolation and Lost Connections
Lyrics
I should call it a night while I still got what's in me...
The speaker feels it's time to end the day while they still have some energy or willpower left.
If i walk through my front door, cause my key's been sticking.
The speaker's key has been having trouble unlocking the door, suggesting difficulty in entering their home.
The neighbor's floodlight interferes with the glow of my TV.
The light from the neighbor's floodlight is causing a distraction or disturbance while watching TV.
I can't draw my curtains from bed.
The speaker cannot close the curtains without getting out of bed, indicating a sense of inertia or reluctance to take action.
I'd like to think I'm alone cause that's the route I've chosen.
The speaker prefers being alone, though this choice is becoming less satisfying or rewarding over time.
But every night spent at home's becoming less than golden.
Staying at home every night is losing its value or appeal for the speaker.
Idle fingertips grown tired of their complacent slumbering.
The speaker's hands are restless and bored due to a lack of meaningful activity or purpose.
Give 'giving it a rest' a rest.
The speaker is tired of taking breaks or giving up but suggests they need to stop resting.
I get so sick of this.
The speaker feels extremely tired or frustrated with their current situation.
But I don't say anything.
Despite feeling sick of the situation, the speaker chooses not to voice their discontent.
I'll try to get over it,
The speaker intends to overcome their feelings and put an end to their pursuits without direction.
And stop my blind ambitioning.
The speaker wants to stop blindly chasing ambitions without clarity or purpose.
I don't want to think of everything we shared, cause I'll feel sick.
Thinking about shared memories makes the speaker feel physically unwell or upset.
Like how we got a dog, but now I've got a dog cause you don't keep shit...
Reflecting on past shared responsibilities or commitments, like getting a dog, which now solely falls on the speaker due to the other person's lack of involvement.
Save for memories of some snowy camping trip with him.
The only remnants of a shared experience are memories of a camping trip.
I'm hearing white noise and seeing things behind my eyes when I'm half asleep.
The speaker experiences sensory disturbances (white noise and visual disturbances) while half-asleep.
No one's keeping track of statistics, but I'm 29 and I'm 0-3.
The speaker feels like they are not achieving anything despite their age (29 years old) and various attempts (0-3, possibly indicating failures).
Spend afternoons sun-blind and high out of my mind 'til I hit the hay.
The speaker spends afternoons being heavily affected by the sun and possibly intoxicated until they go to bed.
Morning alarm's a constant reminder to waste another day.
The morning alarm serves as a reminder of wasted time and the repetition of unproductive days.
And I'll waste away.
The speaker feels like they're slowly deteriorating or wasting away.
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