The Absolute
Soul's Struggle: Unraveling Despair in 'The Absolute'
Lyrics
Running away from everything I fear
Expressing a desire to escape from things causing fear or anxiety.
And I wonder how I ended up here
Reflecting on the puzzling circumstances that led to the current situation.
I don’t deserve pity, and I don’t deserve you
Acknowledging a lack of self-worth and questioning deservingness of others.
I’ve left myself down in the dark
Conveying a sense of self-abandonment in a dark, difficult place.
With a tendency or curse of breaking hearts
Noting a pattern or curse of causing heartbreak despite efforts.
I’ve tried my best but it’s no better than my worst
Admitting the ineffectiveness of personal efforts, even at their best.
What kind of man do you think that I am?
Pondering the perception others have of the speaker's character.
How do I make you feel when I’m around
Questioning the impact of the speaker's presence on others.
Do you drown?
Asking if others feel overwhelmed or burdened in the speaker's company.
Or do you hold onto the higher ground that I can’t seem to find
Expressing a struggle to find a positive and stable state of being.
What do you do when you catch yourself living a lie
Contemplating the realization of living a falsehood.
I’ve found myself pretending everything is fine
Admitting to pretending that everything is fine despite inner turmoil.
To give in and give up, or to adjust and suit
Weighing the options between surrendering and adapting to challenges.
Believe me, that is the question, the absolute
Highlighting a pivotal question, a decision point—the absolute choice.
Bury me
Expressing a desire to be buried or concealed metaphorically.
Carry me
Requesting to be carried, possibly signifying a need for support.
But I don’t want to have your sympathy
Rejecting the idea of receiving undesired sympathy from others.
My misery will forever make me hold the knife so close, but I will never push
Accepting personal misery but resisting the urge to harm oneself.
Because that’s when it will make it all real
Recognizing that acknowledging the pain makes it real and substantial.
I’ve let myself down again
Expressing disappointment in oneself once again.
What do you do when you catch yourself living a lie
Repeating the theme of living a falsehood and its consequences.
I’ve found myself pretending everything is fine
Reiterating the act of pretending despite internal struggles.
To give in and give up, or to adjust and suit
Considering the choices of giving up, adapting, or conforming.
Believe me, that is the question, the absolute
Emphasizing the importance of the decision as "the absolute" question.
I never thought I would end up here
Expressing surprise or disbelief at the current undesirable state.
I was so hard on myself but I was always clear
Reflecting on being self-critical but maintaining clarity in the past.
It feels like years since I have felt content
Describing a prolonged period of discontent and lack of fulfillment.
What does that make me?
Posing a question about the speaker's identity in the context of discontent.
What does that make me?
Repeating the question, possibly emphasizing the uncertainty of identity.
Lay me down
Suggesting a desire for rest or reprieve, possibly linked to the earlier request to be buried or carried.
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