sick of talking
Echoes of Self-Doubt: A Soul's Struggle in Melodic Pain
Lyrics
I think as time passes the worms eat at my broken brain more
I feel that over time, the effects of my mental struggles intensify.
And I think as I grow closer to her I'm more afraid of shutting the door
As I get closer to someone, I fear the possibility of closing the emotional connection.
Am I the reason the cogs in your clock get clogged or is it because of the raging past
Uncertainty about whether I'm causing problems in your life or if it's due to a troubled past.
I wish for serenity but I'm just met with more pain
I desire peace, but my reality brings more pain.
I wish for dry necessities but I'm just met with more rain
My wishes for basic needs are met with adversity instead.
So watch me as I tear apart the notes written to save my soul
I'm tearing apart messages meant to save my soul.
Watch me as I tear the sheets off my bed that was supposed to hold both of us
Tearing sheets off a bed that was meant for both of us but now lies empty.
But that's how the rhythm goes
Accepting the harsh reality of life's rhythm.
And watch me as I take a hammer to our hearts as the beat slows
Breaking our hearts as the beat slows down.
And watch me as I bleed from every pore in my godforsaken body
Bleeding metaphorically from the pain I've caused.
Because I made you hurt
Regret for causing you hurt.
I made you doubt the future
Creating doubt about the future.
I'm a rose covered in thorns and you just want to pick me
Comparing myself to a thorny rose that others want despite the pain.
But the last one didn't give me water so I wilted away
Previous relationships left me neglected and withered.
I'm a tree and you're the breeze spreading its way through my limbs
I'm a tree, and you're the missing sunshine causing my leaves to fall.
But it's a shame all of my leaves fell off because I didn't have a ray of sunshine
Regret for lacking the positive influence needed to flourish.
I can't practice what I preach because I'm not listening to my lectures
I can't follow my own advice because I'm not paying attention.
I'm a diamond that turns to coal if you put me under too much pressure
Under pressure, I turn from a diamond to coal.
I'm a tapestry left to fall apart on an abandoned wall
I'm like a neglected tapestry falling apart on a wall.
I'm a rotted stump, maybe once I stood tall
I've become a decayed stump, once tall and proud.
I'm dropped belongings left forgotten in the lost but never found
Abandoned belongings, forgotten and lost.
I'm the echo of misheard screams that comes from all around
I'm surrounded by echoes of misunderstood pain.
I know it's my fault but I guess I'm just too afraid to admit it
Accepting fault but struggling to admit it.
I want a gentle love but I guess I'm just too scared to commit to it
Desiring a gentle love but fearing commitment.
Because what if people don't love me
Fear of not being loved by others.
What if people don't trust me
Fear of not being trusted by others.
What if someone's above me
Fear of being inferior to someone else.
What if I'm born again into unbroken skin
Concerns about a hypothetical rebirth with unblemished skin.
Then what the hell will I do
Anxiety about the uncertainty of a new beginning.
What if my breath isn't sucked away and my heart doesn't beat too fast
Contemplating a life without overwhelming emotions.
What if my tears don't rip out of my eyes as if the clock is ticking towards eternity
Imagining a future where tears and pain are absent.
What if I didn't feel empty
Questioning the emptiness within.
What if broken songs weren't what sent me
Suggesting that broken songs trigger emotional responses.
What if my brain is just begging for attention
Wondering if my brain craves attention.
My need to be the star of the show, so I wait until then
Expressing a desire to be the center of attention.
What if I'm afraid to heal
Fearful of the process of healing.
And what if none of this feels real
Doubting the reality of the current situation.
So please, tell me if I can sit here and just listen
Pleading for someone to listen instead of talking.
Because I'm sick of talking
Expressing frustration with the act of talking about problems.
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