what depression feels like
Echoes of Desolation: Navigating the Abyss Within
Lyrics
This bed that was once for sleep has become a prison
This bed, once a place for sleep, now feels confining like a prison.
This feeling whispers to me, so of course, I listen to it
The emotional pain speaks to the person, and they pay attention to it.
Because I don't know myself anymore
The individual feels a loss of self-identity.
I don't want to open that door
Reluctance to confront or face difficult emotions or situations.
I know they're waiting, they're knocking, they're there to listen
Awareness that support is available, but uncertainty about its authenticity.
But what if they aren't
Doubt about the sincerity of those who claim to be supportive.
What if instead I'm greeted by the prodding of hot irons
Fear of facing criticism or painful truths from others.
Wide smiles hiding guilty liars
Suspicions of deception behind seemingly happy faces.
So I lay back down and spend hours scrolling on my phone
Using distractions like scrolling on the phone to avoid confronting issues.
Wondering if I'll ever be able to fully live alone
Doubts about the ability to live independently and be content.
And my coffee doesn't taste right, take some pills to help my brain
Struggling with the taste of life and relying on medication.
Have a 7 hour self hate sesh, go to the arcade
Engaging in self-destructive behavior as a coping mechanism.
I don't want to go to therapy, I swear I'm feeling fine
Resistance to seeking professional help despite internal struggles.
But I'll listen to my friends rant, that's how I spend most of my time
Listening to friends while avoiding personal therapy.
Mental headspace gone, I still fill it up with words
Filling the mental void with words despite feeling disconnected.
Pinch myself to stay awake, and like it when it hurts
Physical pain is a way to stay grounded and alert.
I can't move (move, move, move)
Feeling emotionally paralyzed and unable to move forward.
I can't feel (feel, feel, feel)
An inability to connect with or experience emotions.
I can't prove (prove, prove)
Difficulty providing evidence or justification for one's emotions.
What is real (what is real, what is real, what is real)
A struggle to discern what is real or genuine.
I feel like a magnet of despair that's been pulled down too strong
Being strongly pulled down by overwhelming feelings of despair.
I feel like I've got a million tons of weight from my mistakes on my shoulders
Feeling burdened by the weight of past mistakes.
I feel like I've been crushed by rocks, not pebbles, but boulders
Experiencing an intense, crushing weight akin to large rocks.
It's almost like I'm falling in reverse, but reverse is worse
A sense of regression or moving backward, worsening the situation.
Because I'm losing my progress
Regret over losing progress made in overcoming challenges.
I don't want to bother them again
Hesitation to seek support again to avoid being a burden.
They helped me the first time, when I was a lesser friend
Acknowledgment of past support received when the person was in a better state.
So I can do this on my own, right
An attempt to convince oneself of self-sufficiency despite internal struggles.
Wrong (wrong, wrong, wrong)
A realization that self-reliance is not the solution.
I'm empty (empty, empty, empty)
An inner sense of emptiness and emotional void.
I'm selfish (selfish)
An admission of self-centeredness or preoccupation with personal struggles.
I'm lost
A feeling of being directionless or without purpose.
I'm breaking
An acknowledgment of emotional and mental deterioration.
I'm sinking (sinking)
A sense of sinking deeper into despair.
Lower (lower)
A continuous decline or descent into a lower emotional state.
Until one day
Hope for a day when the struggles cease.
It all just stops
An eventual end to the overwhelming emotions and challenges.
Comment