Dear God, I Hate Myself
Navigating Faith and Self-Reflection: Dear God, I Hate Myself
Lyrics
I'm just a punk boy
I identify as a punk boy.
A punk who likes punk boys
I am attracted to other punk boys.
Who feel the same that I do
I seek connection with those who share my feelings.
(That is to say, my stance on punk boys - that stance being that they're pretty cute)
Expressing admiration for the attractiveness of punk boys.
When I was little
Recalling childhood experiences.
My mother told me that God was here, all around
Early belief instilled by the speaker's mother that God is omnipresent.
Watching, observing,
God is a silent observer.
But wouldn't make a sound
Questioning the lack of communication from God.
And I believed her, 'cause we were Christian
Believing in God due to a Christian upbringing.
And I thought he's in us all
Perception that God resides in everyone.
In me, in her, in them, and him
God is within individuals, including the speaker and others.
And you
God is in everyone, including the addressed "you."
And if God's in me,
Contemplating the idea that if God is in the speaker, the speaker is in God.
Then maybe I am in God too
Speculating on the interconnectedness of God and the speaker.
Just a thought
A reflection or contemplation, not a definitive statement.
If so, then all the wicked men who
Suggesting that even those who use God for wrongful purposes are part of God.
Fought and lied, instead used God to deny
People misusing God to deny the speaker's rights.
My rights to hold and live a life
Reflecting on the impact of others' actions on the speaker's life.
Were in there too
Recognizing the presence of all individuals, even those who harm.
I wonder if God hates me like I do
Expressing self-hatred and questioning if God shares the sentiment.
I wonder if God was made up of us too
Contemplating whether God is composed of human qualities.
I wonder if God was with us all along
Speculating on the continuous presence of God.
And maybe it's God who's writing and singing this song
Suggesting that the speaker may be a vessel for God expressing through this song.
Dear God, I hate myself
Directly addressing God with a declaration of self-hatred.
Today, I've gone away to lands
Indicating a departure to a place where God's influence is minimal.
Where your foreign lambs won't stay
Referring to people who do not conform to religious expectations.
I know that life is sometimes hard
Acknowledging the difficulty of life and the unpredictability of fate.
We're all just cards, unplayed, in your sadist games sometimes
Viewing life as a game controlled by a sadistic force, possibly God.
Dear God, I hate myself
Reiterating the self-hatred addressed to God.
Today, I've gone away to lands
Continuing the theme of escaping God's influence.
Where your foreign lambs won't stay
Repeating the idea of avoiding religious constraints.
I know that life is sometimes hard
Restating the challenges of life and the feeling of being unused.
We're all just cards, unplayed, in your sadist games sometimes
Emphasizing the arbitrary nature of life's challenges and fate.
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