I'm the Worst
Confessions of a Heart in Disarray
Lyrics
My phones been off, my eyes still open
Feeling disconnected or isolated despite being physically present and awake.
That doors been closed, but I've been hoping
Recognizing a closed opportunity or relationship but still holding onto hope for its revival.
She'll come back, come back
Expressing a desire for someone to return.
Got a call back, now she's hurting and screaming
Received a response, but it resulted in the other person feeling hurt and expressing pain.
"Gave all my trust, what was I thinking"
Regretting placing trust in someone, realizing it was a mistake.
"I hate you"
Quoting the partner's words expressing intense dislike or resentment.
She said "I hate you"
-All of this time
Reflecting on the time invested, which was anticipated to lead to positive outcomes.
Thought things would be fine
Initially optimistic about the relationship's progress.
"But you crossed that line"
Partner crossed a boundary, causing distress or conflict.
"Have you lost your mind"
Questioning the partner's sanity due to their actions.
If I'm what she calls me
Accepting the negative label given by the partner.
Then I'm the worst
-Always tryna hide from
Avoiding facing or acknowledging what one truly deserves in a relationship.
What I deserve
-Blame it on my habits
Blaming personal tendencies or behaviors for relationship issues.
Wouldn't be the first
-Lying on the mattress
Recalling moments of dishonesty while seeking the right words or apologies.
Looking for the words
-If I'm what she calls me
Reiterating acceptance of being perceived negatively by the partner.
Then I'm the worst
-Always tryna hide from
Continuing to avoid confronting one's deservingness in relationships.
What I deserve
-Blame it on my habits
Attributing relationship issues to personal habits or tendencies.
Wouldn't be the first
-Lying on the mattress
Recalling times of vulnerability while searching for the right words to express oneself.
Looking for the words
-Maybe I'm disgusting
Questioning self-worth and using the weekend as a means to escape emptiness.
And waiting for the weekend just to feel something
-She said I have a problem was I just running
Facing criticism for avoiding issues and lacking sincerity in previous interactions.
Told you I was honest but it meant nothing
-It isn't obvious
Struggling with apologizing sincerely without an audience or witnesses.
How to apologize without an audience
-Everything I did was never how I felt
Actions not aligning with true feelings, believing it would've been a waste if directed towards someone else.
Would have been a waste if it was someone else
-All of this time
Reflecting on misplaced optimism about the relationship.
Thought things would be fine
Similar to line 9, but reiterating disappointment or disillusionment.
"But you crossed that line"
Reiteration of the partner crossing a boundary and questioning their mental state.
"Have you lost your mind"
-If I'm what she calls me
Acceptance of the negative label given by the partner, again.
Then I'm the worst
-Always tryna hide from
Continued avoidance or denial of one's deservingness in relationships.
What I deserve
-Blame it on my habits
Attributing relationship issues to personal habits or tendencies, reiterated.
Wouldn't be the first
-Lying on the mattress
Recalling moments of vulnerability while seeking the right words or apologies, reiterated.
Looking for the words
-If I'm what she calls me
Reiterating acceptance of being perceived negatively by the partner, again.
Then I'm the worst
-Always tryna hide from
Continuing to avoid confronting one's deservingness in relationships, again.
What I deserve
-Blame it on my habits
Attributing relationship issues to personal habits or tendencies, reiterated, again.
Wouldn't be the first
-Lying on the mattress
Recalling moments of vulnerability while seeking the right words or apologies, reiterated, again.
Looking for the words
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