Self Diagnosed
Navigating Shadows: A Journey Through Self-Discovery and Despair
Lyrics
I'm lost in fields of my head
I feel mentally lost and confused.
Frost from the cold hurts my chest
The cold, harsh reality is affecting me emotionally.
If the sun don't show I'm meeting death
If positivity doesn't come into my life, I feel like I'm facing death.
Trapped inside I'm feeling stressed
Feeling confined and stressed within myself.
I'm a self diagnosed agnostic
I label myself as uncertain about religious beliefs.
Hate the taste or I'd be an alcoholic
I dislike the taste of alcohol, or I would have been a heavy drinker.
Working countless hours, feel lethargic
Working excessively, leading to a feeling of lethargy.
Ex friends stuck a label to me, toxic
Former friends have negatively labeled me as toxic.
Tired mind terrified cancer lies inside
Feeling exhausted and fearful about the possibility of cancer.
Lived a lie until it was me, I couldn't recognize
I lived a falsehood until I became unrecognizable to myself.
Trying to see through this cloud of darkness
Struggling to find clarity amid a metaphorical cloud of darkness.
Full of memories getting less and less harmless
Memories are becoming less innocent and more troubling.
Brought into this world without instructions
Existence began without clear guidance or instructions.
Poorly put together and full of malfunctions
Feeling poorly constructed and prone to dysfunction.
Chained with grief from the loss of someone close
Emotionally burdened by the loss of a close person.
These recent years have faded all my hope
Recent years have diminished my hope and optimism.
When the outside is freezing cold
When external conditions are harsh, I act recklessly.
And I decide to leave without my coat
Ignoring precautions despite challenging circumstances.
Please help me
A plea for help, acknowledging a reluctance to return home.
Cause I don't plan on coming home
Expressing a desire not to survive or come back.
Sickness wants to take my life like a bandit
Feeling like an illness is threatening my life.
My family they don't understand it
Family members don't comprehend the struggles.
How could I think to do something so tragic
Contemplating tragic actions due to a clouded mind.
Clouds my mind so often its a habit
Mental fog is a frequent and habitual occurrence.
Stranded in a season of death
Feeling abandoned and isolated in a metaphorical season of death.
I've got astray love I don't wanna forget
Attached to a love that I want to remember despite being distant.
Will I be alone when I take my last breath
Concerned about being alone when facing the end of life.
Wishing in the end to hit reset
Hoping for a fresh start or a new beginning.
I'm a self diagnosed agnostic
Reiteration of self-identifying as uncertain about religious beliefs.
Hate the taste or I'd be an alcoholic
Reiteration of disliking the taste of alcohol despite potential attraction.
Working countless hours, feel lethargic
Continued exhaustion from excessive work.
Ex friends stuck a label to me, toxic
Reiteration of being negatively labeled as toxic by former friends.
Tired mind terrified cancer lies inside
Reiteration of fatigue and fear related to potential cancer.
Lived a lie until it was me, I couldn't recognize
Revelation of living a false persona until self-recognition was lost.
Trying to see through this cloud of darkness
Continued struggle to find clarity amid darkness.
Full of memories getting less and less harmless
Memories becoming progressively less innocent and more troubling.
Always worried that death is near
Constant worry about the proximity of death.
Doesn't matter cause to everyone I'm hardly here
Feeling emotionally absent or overlooked by everyone.
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