Kojak Columbo
TV Love Affair: Kojak, Columbo, and the Quirky World of Life's Remote Control
Lyrics
Well, it's a little late for Christmas
Expressing that it's belated for Christmas.
But have one anyway
Suggesting to celebrate Christmas regardless of the timing.
And while I'm on the subject, baby
Extending birthday wishes to someone.
Have a happy birthday
Wishing a happy birthday to the same person mentioned in line 3.
How's your father?
Asking about the well-being of the listener's parents and hinting at the anxiety caused by the existence of nuclear weapons.
How's your mom?
-Don't it make you itch a little
-You know they've got the bomb?
-Boy, it's been weird out here lately
Commenting on the strange state of affairs but finding solace in television as a guide for what to do.
But I guess that's okay too
-'Cause television's here to save us
-And tell us what to do
-Kojak, Kojak, Kojak, Columbo
Mentioning TV detectives Kojak and Columbo, possibly symbolizing a desire for entertainment and distraction.
Sell me an old one
-Sell 'em some gumbo
-Tell me a new one
-At least once a night
-Show me an old one
-But don't turn out your love light
-You've got nineteen inches, baby, that's a real good size
Describing a TV with a good size, expressing a desire to admire it without needing guidance from a TV guide.
I could lie there on the floor and just look at you all night long
-I could just twist your knobs right off and fool around with you
-I don't need no TV guide to tell me what to do
-Kojak, Kojak, Kojak,Columbo
Repeating the desire for old and new TV shows, emphasizing the importance of keeping the "love light" (affection) on.
Sell me an old one, sell me some gumbo
-Tell me a new one, at least once a night
-Tell me an old one but save out your love light
-Uh-huh, and when I get too old, too old to rock and roll
Humorously envisioning a future when too old to rock and roll, using a remote control to navigate life.
I'll sit in my unrockin' chair, babe, and use my remote control
-Kojak, Kojak, Kojak, Columbo
Reiterating the desire for a variety of TV shows, urging not to turn off the "love light."
Sell me an old one, sell me some gumbo
-Tell me a new one, at least once a night
-Show me an old one but don't turn out your love light
-You've got nineteen inches, baby, that's a real good size
Complimenting the TV set's attributes in a playful manner, expressing admiration for its features.
I'd like to poke my eyes inside you, baby, and just look around
-I love your cute little rabbit ears, I love your cable and your box
-And when I turn out the light at night, baby
Expressing a fondness for the TV even when turning out the lights at night.
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