Bored Of Myself

Navigating the Abyss: HILA's Reflection on Self-Struggle
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Lyrics

Only happy

Feeling happy only

When I keep my head down

When keeping the head down

Come up for air

Coming up for air to assess current situation

To see where I'm at now

Reflecting on one's current position

What'd you expect

Questioning others' expectations

Stuck where I started

Feeling stuck at the starting point

Why even bother

Questioning the significance of effort

Making a promise

Making promises seems futile

I could lie

Considering the option of deception

And tell myself

Lying to oneself for comfort

I've never tried

Denying past attempts

Easier this way

Choosing an easier path through self-deception

I'll tell myself a lie

Telling oneself a convenient lie

I know we've been here before

Recognizing a repetitive situation

Said next time I'd love me more

Promising self-love in the future

I'm starting to get real bored

Expressing boredom with the current state

Finding myself

Searching for identity

Do they all like me more

Questioning others' perception of oneself

Deleting posts on the floor

Deleting past expressions of self

I'm starting to get real bored

Feeling increasingly bored with oneself

Of myself

Expressing weariness with one's own identity

I'm getting tired

Feeling tired and left behind

Of being the one that's left behind

Questioning the morality of this feeling

Is it a crime

Observing life passing by

Watching the world just pass me by

Reflecting on the consequences of being passive

I could turn my eyes away

Considering the option to avoid pain

And never cry

Choosing emotional numbness

Passing by the exit lane

Passing by opportunities for change

I'm paralyzed

Feeling unable to move

I know we've been here before

Recognizing a repeated pattern

Said next time I'd love me more

Promising increased self-love in the future

I'm starting to get real bored

Expressing growing boredom with oneself

Finding myself

Continued search for identity

Do they all like me more

Concern about others' perception

Deleting posts on the floor

Deleting past expressions of self-repeatedly

I'm starting to get real bored

Intensifying boredom with oneself

Of myself

Expressing dissatisfaction with self

It's all the same

Feeling a sense of monotony

I'm getting bored of myself

Increasing weariness with oneself

Nothing will change

Expecting no change in the future

I'm getting bored of myself

Continued weariness with oneself

I'm getting bored of myself

Reiterating growing boredom with oneself

What's it feel like to be ok

Curiosity about the feeling of being okay

Need parts to fix old damage

Recognition of the need for healing

I know we've been here before

Remembering a similar situation

Said next time I'd love me more

Reiterating the promise of increased self-love

I'm starting to get real bored

Expressing heightened boredom with oneself

Finding myself

Continued search for identity

Do they all like me more

Concern about others' perception

Deleting posts on the floor

Repeating the act of deleting past expressions

I'm starting to get real bored

Further intensifying boredom with oneself

Of myself

Expressing a deep dissatisfaction with self

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