Lyrics
I don't like who I used to be
The speaker doesn't like their past self.
But I'm almost eighteen and I'm still tryna find out who to be
Despite nearing adulthood, the speaker is still figuring out their identity.
Life's still feelin' new to me
Life still feels new and unfamiliar to the speaker.
Me and the old me is like if there's two of me
The current and past versions of the speaker feel like two separate entities.
But we're one in the same
The speaker acknowledges similarities between their past and present selves.
'Cause everything's changed but nothin' has changed
Despite external changes, the speaker's core remains the same.
I am such a burden for everyone I talk to
The speaker feels like a burden in interactions with others.
To everyone, I promise that it's me and not you
Assures others that the issue lies with the speaker, not them.
That's real, I still feel certain ways
The speaker still experiences certain emotions consistently.
I'm always lookin' up but there are certain days when I
Despite aiming high, there are days when the speaker feels low.
When I feel down
The speaker experiences periods of feeling down.
On the raps, it's hard to keep it real now
Expresses difficulty in staying genuine in their music.
'Cause I'm rappin' 'bout money and girls I don't get
Raps about themes that don't reflect their personal experiences but finds confidence in it.
But I enjoy it, it helps me feel confident
Derives confidence from the music despite potential inauthenticity.
That's real
Reiterates the genuineness of their feelings.
But am I a fake?
Questions their authenticity and whether they are being true to themselves.
Sometimes I don't even know why I'm awake
Expresses confusion about the purpose of being awake.
And I've stopped postin' so much on socials
Reduced social media presence due to addiction and its impact on their antisocial tendencies.
Because I get too addicted and that feeds my antisocial nature
Recognizes the negative influence of excessive social media usage on their antisocial behavior.
And I always struggle wonderin' if talkin' openly
Struggles with the idea of sharing openly due to fear of external judgment.
Is somethin' I should do 'cause then people will tell me who I'm supposed to be
Worries about being influenced by others' expectations of their identity.
I would love to make more songs like this but I feel like don't have anything deep to say
Desires to create more meaningful music but feels a lack of depth in their thoughts.
So I'll stay wonderin' who to be today
Continues to grapple with their identity and who to present to the world.
Like I said, I don't know why I be awake
Expresses confusion about their wakefulness without a clear purpose.
So ima go sleep away
Decides to sleep as a means to escape or find solace from their current state of mind.
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