Lyrics
I got this bullet by my side with my name on it
I possess a metaphorical "bullet" that symbolizes a burden or challenge personalized to me.
If I pull it don't you cry I can't take this shit
If I decide to confront this challenge, don't express sadness, as I find it difficult to endure the situation.
The silence never felt this loud before please make it stop
The quietness is unusually overwhelming, and a plea is made to end or alleviate this oppressive silence.
I hear the sirens right outside my door as my body drops
I hear emergency sirens near me, possibly signaling a crisis, and a sense of detachment as my body metaphorically drops.
Oh no
Expression of distress or realization, marked by "Oh no."
I'm trying hard to be strong
Struggling to exhibit strength, questioning the inherent difficulty of being alive.
Why does being alive feel intrinsically wrong
Existence feels inherently wrong, pondering the existential struggle.
Every night I'm gone getting higher than a bitch
Engaging in self-destructive behaviors, seeking temporary relief by getting high.
Popping all these pills then I take a couple swigs
Consuming pills and alcohol as a coping mechanism.
Whiskey in my liver and this smoke in my lungs
Acknowledging the impact on the body with references to whiskey, smoke, and a deteriorating heart.
Heart growing bitter I don't like who I've become
Feeling a sense of bitterness and dissatisfaction with one's own character.
Always on the run from myself every chance I get
Constantly avoiding confronting personal issues, running away from oneself.
I don't ask for help cause they abandon ship
Reluctance to seek help due to past experiences of abandonment.
So I sink by my lonely
Choosing isolation and dealing with challenges alone.
And I drink till' I feel like the old me
Using alcohol to regain a sense of the former self.
But I know that this potion is falsehood
Acknowledging that the coping mechanisms are based on falsehood or illusion.
I guess truth and I started on the wrong foot
Reflecting on a past misunderstanding or misjudgment that set a negative tone.
So I dance with these pretty lies
Embracing attractive lies to escape the pain, entering a state of denial.
In a trance while the pain's hidden in disguise
Being entranced by deception while the true emotional pain remains hidden.
Take a quick look in his eyes
Observing someone else's suffering through their eyes, recognizing inner turmoil.
You can tell he's unhealthy and sick inside
Recognizing signs of unhealthiness and emotional sickness in oneself.
And nothing feels the same
Expressing a profound change in perception, feeling a loss of familiarity.
Everything feels so strange
Experiencing a sense of disorientation and unfamiliarity in everything.
Why must everything change
Questioning the inevitability and necessity of change.
My thoughts are so deranged
Describing distorted and disturbed thoughts.
Inside my brain is hell
Internal thoughts and emotions are compared to a hellish state.
I wish I could dispel
Expressing a desire to dispel or get rid of the emotional curse.
This curse that's plaguing me
A plea for liberation from the emotional burden or suffering.
Oh good luck saving me
An acknowledgment of the challenging nature of the situation, with a sense of resignation.
I got this bullet by my side with my name on it
Repetition of the earlier metaphorical "bullet," emphasizing the personalized struggle.
If I pull it don't you cry I can't take this shit
Reiteration of the difficulty in facing the personalized challenge and the plea not to cry.
The silence never felt this loud before please make it stop
Repetition of the overwhelming silence and the desire for it to end.
I hear the sirens right outside my door as my body drops
Repetition of the imagery of emergency sirens and the metaphorical dropping of the body.
Oh no
Final expression of distress, emphasizing the challenging nature of the situation.
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