HOMESICK
Navigating Inner Turmoil: HOMESICK Reflections
Lyrics
Alone at home, homesick, self medicating
Feeling lonely at home, experiencing homesickness, resorting to self-medication
Understand I'm on my own shit, lately I feel better my own
Emphasizing independence and personal growth, feeling better on one's own
Let my phone ring, I don't like to talk cause I don't wanna say the wrong thing,
Avoiding phone calls as there's hesitation about saying the wrong things
I don't like what all this money gon' bring
Expressing concern about the potential negative impact of money
I ain't slept in some days, I been stuck in my ways
Struggling with insomnia and being stuck in habitual ways
I need someone to save me, I'm going insane
Desire for someone to rescue from internal struggles and feeling on the brink of insanity
I swear this shit starting to get old, I'm praying I'ma feel at home again before this shit over
Hoping to feel at home again, expressing weariness with the current situation
Swear I'm tired of getting told it all get better, it don't
Expressing fatigue with reassurances that things will get better
I been fighting silent battles in my head for the longest, I don't like trying to act like I ain't stressing for y'all
Acknowledging silent internal struggles, reluctance to show stress outwardly
I been talking to the sky wondering when will the storm end, I question if its ever even ending at all
Questioning the duration of personal storms, doubting if they will ever end
Baby, I'm all out of trust and forgiveness
Admitting a lack of trust and forgiveness in relationships
I been off them drugs, its all love if I been distant
Stating a shift away from drugs and emphasizing love despite distance
All this on my chest I'm doing my best to find what's missing
Expressing a burden on the heart and the quest to find fulfillment
Ignoring all my texts, I admit it, I'm dismissive
Acknowledging dismissive behavior, intentionally ignoring messages
Feel like jail how I'm living, I could cry when I think about my feelings
Comparing life to jail and expressing emotional vulnerability
I survived, I can't tell you how I did it
Survived difficult times without specifying the method
I can't lie, I been better but I'm chillin'
Admitting current well-being but still experiencing inner pain
Dying inside but I'm knowing I'ma die a living legend (Oh)
Acceptance of inner turmoil but determined to be a living legend
Hurt for my whole life, that shit inspired me to get it (Oh)
Turning past hurt into motivation for success
Shit, if ain't nobody on my side, its me against it all
Embracing a solitary journey, facing challenges alone
I been wanted this shit for all this time, I bet it all
Longing for success and willing to risk everything for it
If it all don't go my way at least I tried
Expressing a willingness to try despite uncertainties
Alone at home, homesick, self medicating
Repetition of feeling alone at home and using self-medication
Understand I'm on my own shit, lately I feel better my own
Reiterating independence and feeling better personally
Let my phone ring, I don't like to talk cause I don't wanna say the wrong thing,
Avoiding conversations to prevent saying the wrong things
I don't like what all this money gon' bring
Reiterating concerns about the potential negative effects of wealth
I been high for a week and then some
Indicating an extended period of being under the influence of substances
99 problems, only thing that I'm deprived of is sleep
Highlighting sleep deprivation as a major issue
Showing signs of defeat (I surrender)
Surrendering to signs of defeat and seeking belief
Looking for a sign, I been trying to believe
Searching for a positive sign or indication to believe in
Too many times I put my pride to the side
Reflecting on past mistakes and attempting to heal with time
All of them lies that I let slide, I'm trying to heal with time
Confronting lies that were overlooked, striving for personal growth
I'll be better in another life, it hurt to hear but still, nobody care until you die
Expressing a desire for improvement in another life, acknowledging the lack of care until death
I just hope the people that I pray for pray for me
Hoping for reciprocation of prayers from those prayed for
Keep them people out here showing fake love away from me
Avoiding insincere or fake expressions of love from others
I grew an attachment to my pain cause it made me, I just hope the shit that I can't take don't break me
Developing a connection to pain as it contributed to personal growth
Running on no sleep, anxiety wildin' lately I'm inside OD
Struggling with sleep deprivation and heightened anxiety
I don't got nobody, so I'm just getting high OD
Isolation and relying on substances to cope
Upping my tolerance, I don't get high as the old me
Building tolerance to substances, reflecting on changes in oneself
Don't know who to trust, I cut off everybody close to me
Lack of trust in others, cutting off close relationships
I dealt with abandonment from those who meant the most to me
Dealing with abandonment from significant individuals
Helpless, Isolated, I be by myself they think I'm selfish
Feeling helpless and isolated, perceived as selfish by others
I know I be too hard on myself but I can't help it
Acknowledging self-criticism and difficulty in overcoming it
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