Lyrics
Smoking my pain away
Expressing the use of smoking to cope with emotional pain.
Yeah, i'm not gonna give up today
Determined not to give up on this particular day.
Gotta keep my head up again
Determined to maintain a positive attitude despite challenges.
She said
Introduction to a conversation, possibly with a significant other.
Happy birthday to me, blowing kisses to me
Celebrating a birthday, feeling a sense of self-love, and blowing kisses to oneself.
And now i'm trying to hold my heart because you made it bleed
Experiencing emotional pain caused by someone, possibly a romantic partner.
I admit it baby, you were my everything
Admitting that the person was once everything to the speaker.
But well i guess i'm not good enough for you anyways
Expressing a sense of inadequacy and rejection.
But it's special today, i just turned 20 today
Noting the specialness of the day, the speaker's 20th birthday.
And it hurts that you're not gonna be with me today
Feeling the pain of not being together with the significant other on this special day.
But i'm alone it's okay, i'm used to hold all the pain
Accepting and being accustomed to loneliness and emotional pain.
And say i'm fine with a fake smile stuck on my face
Pretending to be fine with a forced smile despite inner struggles.
I didn't lie when i told you, i can give you the world
Promising to provide the world, likely to the significant other.
But i've been here for a minute and it's never enough
Expressing dissatisfaction that efforts are not reciprocated enough.
Damn i needed your love, tell me where did you go?
Expressing a deep need for love and questioning the absence of the significant other.
Maybe in the next life we can do it for sure
Hopeful for a reunion in the afterlife.
Cuz i still got your voice on my head
Still haunted by memories of the significant other.
Six missed calls and your very dry texts
Noting attempts at communication but receiving minimal and emotionless responses.
I could be with you but you don't want me to stay
Expressing a desire to be with the significant other, but acknowledging their reluctance.
To lay down on your chest and say i love you even more than myself
Imagining a moment of intimacy, confessing love more than self-love.
But i'm not surprised tho
Not surprised by the situation.
And i'll be fine tho
Claiming resilience despite the emotional turmoil.
So you worry about yourself and let me die slow
Encouraging the significant other to focus on themselves, expressing a desire for a slow decline.
All alone with suicidal thoughts
Admitting to struggling with suicidal thoughts while being alone.
But i'm gon still alive, i'll see you in your room when the light's off
Asserting resilience, promising to continue living, and implying a haunting presence.
Same shit different year i'm so sick of that
Expressing frustration with the repetition of negative experiences.
I wish you were here so i can tell you that
Expressing a wish for the significant other's presence to share feelings.
You still got my soul but you broke my heart
Acknowledging the enduring connection with the significant other despite a broken heart.
You still got my soul but you broke my heart
Repeating the theme of a broken heart and the persistence of the connection.
Same shit different year i'm so sick of that
Reiterating frustration with the cyclical nature of negative experiences.
I wish you were here so i can tell you that
Expressing a desire to communicate feelings directly if the significant other were present.
You still got my soul but you broke my heart
Reiterating the enduring connection despite a broken heart.
You still got my soul but you broke my heart.
Repeating the theme of a broken heart and the persistent connection to the significant other's soul.
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